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What does the Bible say about a Christian staying single?

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TL;DR:

While both singleness and marriage are gifts from God, singleness gives us the opportunity to devote undivided attention to our relationship with God.

what does the bible say?

The Bible makes it clear that marriage is not a sin and neither is singleness. Some apostles were single (Paul, for example), some were married (Peter, for example), and others’ relationship status are never revealed. Jesus tells us that while some believers have the gift of singleness so they can better serve the Lord in some capacity, others willingly choose celibacy over marriage. Paul makes it clear that singleness is a gift. It appears that Paul’s preference for the Corinthians to choose singleness over marriage was partly due to the intense persecution going on at the time. Paul wanted to spare believers from the complications and unique trials that would inevitably come with being married. He also made the case that while married, couples’ interests are divided between the things of this world and God. The unmarried person can direct all their focus on God.

from the old testament

  • The topic of a Christian staying single is specifically discussed in the New Testament.

from the new testament

  • In Matthew 19:11–12, Jesus speaks on the different types of people who experience singleness: “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
  • Paul further emphasizes that some people are gifted with singleness in 1 Corinthians 7:7.
  • In 1 Corinthians 7:8–9 Paul says, “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” Paul was communicating that while singleness is his personal preference, marriage is not a bad choice for those who have strong sexual desires.
  • During a time of trouble and persecution, Paul told the Corinthians, "I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that" (1 Corinthians 7:26–28). Paul was making the point that while marriage during a season of intense persecution was not sinful, it was preferable to stay single to not add unnecessary complexity to one’s life.
  • In 1 Corinthians 7:32-40, Paul makes a case for why the unmarried believer should consider remaining single. He makes it clear that this is not a command of God but rather based on his own judgment. Those who choose to marry are not sinning against God by doing so. His perspective was that marriage brings upon a believer anxieties over the perishable things of this world, whereas singleness allows a believer to hone their focus entirely on the Lord.

implications for today

There can be great focus, freedom, and joy in being single. Staying single does not imply that there is something wrong with an unmarried person or that he or she is somehow incomplete. On the contrary, the Bible indicates that singleness is a high calling! Despite the many benefits of singleness, neither marriage nor singleness will shield a person from the hardships of life. Additionally, neither is a superior status or more holy than the other. Our mission should be to honor God, which can be done as a married person or as a single person. To seek God's guidance for our life, we should ask Him for wisdom (James 1:5). In Romans 12:2 we are told to “not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Whether we are married or single, God's will for us is to "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you" (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18).

understand

  • Singleness allows for focused devotion to God and greater service without marital distractions.
  • Singleness and marriage are both valid paths; neither is superior or holier.
  • Being single offers freedom and joy, enabling individuals to embrace their state without feeling incomplete.

reflect

  • How do you view singleness in your life—do you see it as a burden or a gift of focused devotion to God?
  • How can you use your singleness to serve God and others more effectively?
  • How can you be at peace with your current relationship status before God?

engage

  • How can the church better support both single and married believers without elevating one over the other?
  • What challenges might single Christians face in their spiritual walk, and how can these be turned into opportunities for growth?
  • How can understanding Paul's perspective on singleness (1 Corinthians 7) help us engage in discussions about contentment and purpose, whether single or married?

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