Many people in the Bible, both in the Old and New Testaments, experienced being betrayed or betraying someone themselves. King David experienced great betrayal throughout his life at the hands of those he trusted, some within his own family. He responded by allowing himself to feel the pain of the hurt and then took his pain to God instead of facing it alone. He also made the decision to change his relationships with those who hurt him, understanding that they were no longer worthy of his trust. Jesus was betrayed by one of His own followers, Judas, who had been with Him and the other disciples for three years of ministry. Judas betrayed Jesus for a mere thirty pieces of silver and set into motion the events that led to Jesus’ death on the cross. During the trial of Jesus before His death, Peter, another of the disciples, was questioned by several people about his connection to Jesus. Instead of answering truthfully, Peter, motivated by fear, denied that he even knew Jesus, effectively betraying their friendship and trust. Through these accounts of betrayal, the Bible also teaches us the different responses to those who betray us, from creating different relationships to showing forgiveness and reconciliation.
Betrayal robs us of a sense of security. Someone close to us has proven untrustworthy. There are obvious dangers in not overcoming the pain betrayal causes—losing the ability to trust, becoming a betrayer in retaliation or self-defense, not acknowledging the betrayal and thereby exposing ourselves to further hurt, emotional numbing to avoid the pain, which will eventually lead to an inability to experience joy as well. We work through the pain so that we might trust again, so that we might find the true foundation of our security.
It needs to be said that not all betrayers commit their act intentionally. Judas and David's friend certainly did. Peter did not. Sometimes, friends betray us simply because they are sinful human beings (just like us). It is still wise to recognize that these people may not be as trustworthy as we once believed. However, it would be unwise to paint them with a broad brush, declaring them evil and unworthy of reconciliation.
The most important step in overcoming the pain of betrayal is that of forgiveness. When we forgive someone, we are really giving ourselves a gift. Especially when people intentionally inflict pain on us, our withholding of forgiveness hurts us more than it does them. To forgive someone is to give up our right to vengeance. We acknowledge that their act was wrong, we might be more careful in trusting them with certain issues, but we do not attempt to get back at them. We don't betray someone who betrayed us. Instead, like David did, we leave it in God's hands. God will take care of evildoers. And He will take care of us.
Betrayal is a robbing of security through a breaking of trust. We overcome the heartache it causes by giving our pain to God. We call the betrayal what it is, reconsider our personal boundaries, and recognize that only God is truly trustworthy. We tell Him our pain and allow Him to handle those who would hurt us.
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