What does it mean that we should be quick to listen and slow to speak (James 1:19)?

from the old testament

• In Psalm 141:1-3, David cries out to the Lord, “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” This plea comes directly after David implores the Lord to hear him. Part of being adopted as God's child is having full access to Him in prayer. If God is willing to listen to us, we should certainly reflect Him by talking less and listening more.
• Proverbs 10:19 presents wise advice about being slow to speak: “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” We should weigh our words wisely, not responding in a heated moment with the first thing that comes to mind or refusing to give others the opportunity to share their thoughts.
• Proverbs 17:27-28 offers similar advice: “Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.” This proverb connects restrained speaking with a “cool spirit,” showing the wisdom of being “slow to speak” (James 1:19).

from the new testament

• James 1:19, sometimes called the Proverbs of the New Testament, offers wise counsel: “Know this, my beloved brothers: let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” Listening to others and being circumspect with our words goes a long way in preventing unnecessary hurt during tense moments.
• In Matthew 12:36-37 Jesus presents the significance of our words: “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” Jesus had indicated that “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (v. 34). Our words matter because they often indicate the feelings in our heart. An angry heart can lead to angry words, which is why James 1:19 advises restraint.
• Ephesians 4:29 emphasizes the importance of our words as evidence of who we are in Christ: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Our words matter. As children of God, our speech should be God-honoring.

implications for today

Seems like at least once a month, a Tik Tok video of someone venting his or her rage against a politician or celebrity goes viral. A sad fact of our world today is that what people feel, they share. But is that wise? According to the Bible, No. Christians should be “slow to anger,” and even if we do become angry, we should be “slow to speak”---which rules out rants on Tik Tok or any other social media platform). Beyond social media, this applies to face-to-face communication, too.

Part of loving our neighbors is listening to them with respect. This means actually considering what they say instead of counting the seconds until they stop talking and we can start. The way we communicate is part of our witness for Christ because it reveals something about our character (Matthew 12:34). When we listen to others’ concerns, we can better show them that Christ is the answer to every problem. That doesn’t mean we must always agree with what others are saying; Psalm 1 warns against wicked counsel, and Ephesians advises us to "speak the truth with [our] neighbor" (4:25). But believers act wisely when we heed Scripture’s teaching to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.