What does it mean to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15)?

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TL;DR:

God calls us to speak the truth in love. In a world clouded by confusion and miscommunication, we are called to reflect Christ by bringing clarity and compassion.

from the old testament

  • Because God’s love is overflowing in our lives, so should His truth be in our hearts: “O LORD, who shall sojourn in your tent? Who shall dwell on your holy hill? He who walks blamelessly and does what is right and speaks truth in his heart” (Psalm 15:1–2).
  • We should always want those we love to know we are speaking truth to them. “Whoever speaks the truth gives honest evidence” (Proverbs 12:17).
  • Zechariah 8:16 says, “ These are the things that you shall do: Speak the truth to one another; render in your gates judgments that are true and make for peace.”

from the new testament

  • Believers are to "walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called" and function as a singular body made up of many parts and many roles, all given by God (Ephesians 4:1, 4–7, 11–12; cf. Romans 12; 1 Corinthians 12).
  • When we are spiritually mature, we are no longer easily deceived by false doctrine or scheming people (Ephesians 4:13–14).
  • Ephesians 4:15–16 says: "Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love."
  • Part of the spiritual maturing process involves getting rid of "your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another" (Ephesians 4:22–25).
  • When we are speaking the truth to someone, our goal should always be that it will ultimately build them. Paul says: "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear" (Ephesians 4:29). The truth can be painful to hear, but it will bear good fruit in the life of one who hears it and responds.
  • Jesus brings truth, so in Him, as we continue to love, seek, and speak the truth, we walk in greater levels of maturity and true freedom in Christ. Love and truth go hand-in-hand (1 Corinthians 13:6).

implications for today

Jesus came "from the Father, full of grace and truth" (John 1:14), and we also should exemplify grace and truth to others. As people of God, we show others that we are His children and that He is at work in our lives by our love (John 13:34–35; 15:1–17). Because we know God and His truth, we love others. Because we love others, we speak the truth to them. This includes speaking the truth in love to those who do not know Jesus; we should share the truth of the gospel with them (Matthew 28:19; 1 Peter 3:15). Without Jesus Christ, we are all dead in our sins and fated to eternity in hell (John 3:16–18; Romans 6:23), but through Christ, we become born again into a new life and will have eternity with Him (Romans 10:9–15; 2 Corinthians 5:17). We share the truth of the gospel because we love people and know that Jesus died for their sins, not just ours. God's love compels us to share His truth and love with others (1 John 4:7–12). In doing so, we can be a light in the darkness of the world.

understand

  • God calls us to speak the truth in love. Truth and love are not in competition; rather, they go hand-in-hand.
  • Truth should be shared out of love, aiming to build others up and encourage spiritual maturity.
  • Speaking the truth in love mirrors Jesus’ character to those who need to hear the truth.

reflect

  • How do you personally balance speaking the truth and demonstrating love in your relationships with others?
  • Can you recall a time when you received difficult truth from someone? How did it impact your growth or perspective?
  • How can you actively practice speaking the truth in love within your sphere of influence—how is it different between your believing friends and unbelieving friends?

engage

  • How does the biblical concept of speaking the truth in love challenge or align with societal views on honesty and communication today?
  • What role does prayer play in preparing your heart to speak the truth in love, especially when the truth may be uncomfortable for the other person?
  • How can understanding Jesus as the embodiment of grace and truth influence our approach to sharing the gospel with others?