What is the meaning of phileo love?

from the old testament

• David and Jonathan’s friendship expresses one of the Bible's best examples of phileo love within a friendship. First Samuel 18:1–3 describes their friendship and says, in part, that "… the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. … Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul."

from the new testament

• In Matthew 10:37, phileō is used to refer to deep family affection. Jesus said, “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” Jesus does not condemn such love, but He teaches that even the strongest relational bonds must be rightly ordered. Those who love even family members more than God are not worthy of Him.
• In Matthew 23:6, Jesus says of the Pharisees, “they love the place of honor at feasts and the best seats in the synagogues.” Phileō is used there to show how love of others’ opinions (rooted in love of one’s self) is negative. Love can be positive or negative, depending on the object of our affection.
• In John 11:3 and 11:36, phileō describes Jesus’ genuine affection for Lazarus, so much so that He wept even though He knew He would shortly resurrect Lazarus (John 11:35).
• In John 16:27, the Father’s love for believers and the believers’ love for God is described using the word phileō.
• In John 20:2, the “disciple whom Jesus loved” reflects a close, trusted bond. While John often uses agapaō elsewhere, phileō here highlights intimacy and familiarity. Discipleship includes friendship with Christ. This theme continues in John 21:15–17, where Jesus restores Peter.
• Revelation 3:19 presents phileō as the motive behind Christ’s discipline. His correction flows from relational care, not rejection. Phileō love includes accountability and formation, not mere sentimentality.

implications for today

The Greek language has different terms for love. The main terms found in the Bible are phileo, agape, storge, and eros. The two latter Greek terms for love are not mentioned in the Bible, although we do see them expressed in certain stories. To better understand phileo love, it must be defined as one part of these terms.

Storge is affectionate love. This love exists naturally between family members and friends, such as the warm, unforced love shown between spouses or between a parent and a child. Storge love is displayed in many stories in the Bible, such as in the stories of Noah, Jacob, and Mary, Martha, and Lazarus.

Eros is sexual or passionate love. Song of Solomon paints the best example of this love. God created this love, just as He created all the other sides of love, and it is important within a marriage relationship. But the Bible also warns against eros outside of the husband and wife marital relationship (1 Corinthians 6:18; 1 Thessalonians 4:3).

Agape love is sacrificial love. This is the most noble and powerful type of love because it is an act of the will. Christ showed us agape love when he died on the cross, sacrificing Himself so that we can know eternal life and salvation.

Phileo love is brotherly love. This type of love is most often shown within close friendships. This is a generous and affectionate love that seeks to make the other person happy with no expectation for the acts of kindness to be returned.

Phileo love is shown toward people we feel warm and affectionate to. This means that we do not show our enemies phileo love because we do not feel warm and affectionate toward them. However, God does call us to show agape love toward those we dislike and clash with (Luke 6:28; Matthew 5:44). As we grow closer to God and experience more of His compassion, we may even experience phileo love toward people we are beginning to understand better.