Does the Bible say anything about friends?

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TL;DR:

Friendships are an important part of life, and through them we can grow and learn about love, forgiveness, and grace. However, we must choose our friends wisely if we want to experience Christ-centered relationships.

from the old testament

  • Moses solemnly warned the Israelites against following wicked friends who would draw them away from worshiping God and instead worship false idols (Deuteronomy 13:6–11).
  • A powerful example of sacrificial love is the friendship displayed between David and King Saul's son, Jonathan. Jonathan was a fiercely loyal friend, even when it meant going against his father’s will (1 Samuel 18:1–4; 20:12–17).
  • David's life was saved by Jonathan, and when he died, David wrote a psalm of lament for his dearest friend (2 Samuel 1:18–27).
  • An extreme example of a toxic friendship is found in 2 Samuel 13:1–6 when Jonadab persuaded David’s son, Amnon, to rape his half-sister, Tamar.
  • The author of Proverbs warns us to use discernment in order to avoid becoming friends with wicked people (Proverbs 1:10–19; 4:14–19).
  • Proverbs 17:17 contrasts the difference between friendship and brotherhood: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
  • We are warned in Proverbs 16:28 that gossip can separate close friends.
  • The author of Proverbs spoke on the power of forgiveness and warned that grudges can break up close friendships (Proverbs 17:9).
  • While slaves in King Nebuchadnezzar’s palace, Daniel and his friends, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, risked their lives by jointly refusing to eat unclean food that would cause them to disobey God’s law (Daniel 1).
  • In Daniel 3, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego joined forces to obey God’s law by refusing to worship a false idol.

from the new testament

  • On the night of His betrayal, Jesus talked to His disciples about love and friendship: “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” and commanded them to obey Him and love each other in the same way He loved them (John 15:12-14).
  • Throughout the New Testament, Paul wrote to his friends who encouraged him, prayed for him, and took care of him. He specifically warned the church to choose friends wisely because "bad company corrupts good character" (1 Corinthians 15:33, NIV).
  • In Ephesians 4:15, Paul instructed believers to speak the truth in love. This is an important principle to follow in our friendships, regardless of how difficult it can be at times.
  • In James 5:16 believers are instructed to practice accountability in their friendships by confessing their sins to each other and praying for each other.

implications for today

Our relationships with our friends can either encourage us in our relationship with God or distract us from Him, so we must choose our friends wisely (Proverbs 1:10–19; 4:14–19). Despite the challenges inherent in relationships, engaging in true friendships and extending Christ’s love to our friends can be a profound opportunity for spiritual growth for us and them. John 15:12-14 encourages us to emulate Jesus’ sacrificial love, demonstrating that our interactions can become a means of mutual encouragement and deepened faith when rooted in His love. Ultimately, our goal should be to surround ourselves with friends who walk in the “paths of righteousness” (Psalm 23:3). This means forming relationships with those who support our spiritual well-being and encourage us to live according to God's standards, rather than those who might lead us astray.

understand

  • The Bible has a lot to say both about good friends and friendships to avoid.
  • True friends draw you closer to God.
  • Friends who cause you to sin or do not reflect Christlikeness should be avoided.

reflect

  • How do your current friendships impact your relationship with God?
  • How can you show Christ’s love in your friendships?
  • What adjustments might you need to make in your friendships based on what the Bible teaches about friends?

engage

  • What are the consequences of having ungodly friendships?
  • How can Proverbs 1:10–19 and 4:14–19 guide your choice of friends?
  • What steps can you take to build Christ-centered friendships according to John 15:12-14 and Ephesians 4:15?