Does God expect everyone to have children?

TL;DR:

Children are a blessing from God, but He does not command every believer to have them. God values faithfulness over fertility and invites us to honor Him with our lives, living faithfully for Him.

Scripture teaches that children are a blessing from God (Psalm 127:3-5) , but He does not command every believer to have them, valuing faithfulness over fertility. In the Old Testament, bearing children was the norm, and infertility was considered an anomaly. Yet, God never condemned infertile couples and often used miraculous births to advance His plan (Genesis 21:7; Luke 1). Singleness and childlessness can both be God-given callings for undivided devotion to Him, as they were for the apostle Paul (1 Corinthians 7:32-35). While children are and have always been a blessing, married couples are not required to have them. However, they should seek God’s wisdom and avoid selfish motives in deciding whether or not to have children (James 1:5). God’s true expectation is that we honor Him and advance His kingdom wherever He leads and with whatever opportunities He gives us.

from the old testament

In general, bearing children in the context of marriage is the norm and was God’s command to Adam and Eve when He told them to "be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth…" (Genesis 1:28).
In the Bible, infertility was considered an anomaly worth noting (Genesis 25:21; Judges 13:2-3; 1 Samuel 1:2), and there are no recorded instances of a couple voluntarily remaining childless. But Scripture contains examples of husbands remaining devoted to their infertile wives, such as Abraham’s loyalty to Sarah, Elkanah’s loyalty to Hannah, and Jacob’s loyalty to Rachel. (Genesis 16:1–6, 29:31-35; 1 Samuel 1:1–20).
Nowhere in the Bible did God condemn an infertile couple. Several times infertility was brought to an end with the birth of a significant Bible character, such as with the births of Isaac, Jacob, Samson, Samuel, and John the Baptist (Genesis 21:7; 25:21; Judges 13; 1 Samuel 1; Luke 1:5-25). Twice God granted fertility to women for the expressed purpose of comforting them (Genesis 29:31; 2 Kings 4:8-17).
The emphasis on fertility was more cultural than spiritual. Children were necessary to expand family holdings and provide for parents in their old age. That cultural expectation seems to center more around women than men. Women, especially, relied on their sons to care for them. Abram was still the leader and patriarch of his extended family without direct heirs; it was Sarai who felt so aimless without children that she offered up her handmaiden Hagar as a surrogate (Genesis 16). And it was typically women, not husbands, who harassed other infertile women (Genesis 16:41; 1 Samuel 1:6).

from the new testament

Paul teaches that both marriage and singleness are gifts from God and that singleness can even be preferable for serving the Lord without distraction (1 Corinthians 7:7–8, 32–35). This shows that fulfilling God’s calling does not depend on having children. Though Paul had no biological children, he had a fatherly relationship with Timothy (1 Timothy 1:2; 2 Timothy 1:2; Philippians 2:22).
Believers are called to make disciples (Matthew 28:19–20), which can include one’s own children but is not limited to just progeny.

implications for today

Children were seen as such a blessing when the Bible was written that it was likely assumed that all couples would want them or be able to have them. If they did not, they would seek why this blessing was removed from them. Still, nowhere does the Bible say that all fertile couples must have children. If a couple cannot have children or does not want children, they should seek what God would want them to do, open to wherever He leads. Overall, we are called to be faithful where God places us. That might mean opening our hearts to having children, delaying having children, or caring for children in another way if childbearing is not possible.

What the Bible does say is that we should seek the Kingdom of God over worldly affairs (Matthew 6:33). Our lives should be lived God’s way not our way. We should seek wisdom (James 1:5), submit to God (James 4:7), and realize what matters for eternity (1 Corinthians 3:11-15). For many, this includes raising godly children who can go into the world and reach others. For others, it may mean serving God with our whole attention. Whether children are in God's plan or not, our lives should honor God and make Him known to our own children and in the lives of others. It is unbiblical for men or women to avoid having children for selfish reasons such as gaining worldly power or riches, being able to do what you want, or out of fear of bringing children into this world.

Adoption is a biblical choice for both fertile and infertile couples and a beautiful picture of God’s love for us. It is telling that when the Son of God was conceived with no earthly father, God provided Him with one in Joseph. A couple who finds themselves unable to have children should prayerfully consider adopting.

God does not expect us all to have children. He does expect us to value children and to follow His leading in our lives.

understand

Children are a blessing from the Lord, and God called Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply.
God blesses many with children but does not command every believer to have them; we should seek and follow God’s will for having children.
God calls us to honor Him and live faithfully for Him whether single or married and whether married with children or not.

reflect

How can you honor God with your life whether or not children are part of His plan for you?
In what ways might you need to seek God’s wisdom about family decisions instead of relying on cultural expectations?
How can you bear spiritual fruit and make disciples even if you never have biological children?

engage

What do the Old and New Testaments teach us about the differences and connections between physical fruitfulness and spiritual fruitfulness?
How can we support and encourage singles and childless couples to live faithfully for God?
Why is it important for us to uphold the value of children in our modern times, and what does it reveal about God’s heart?