Why should I forgive?

TL;DR:

The reason that we forgive others is because God has forgiven us. Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation or absolving the person of consequences; it is our willingness to extend mercy to others, as God has done to us.

what does the bible say?

The Bible shows us that God’s mercy toward us compels us to forgive others. Mercy and forgiveness are part of God’s essential nature (Exodus 34:6–7; Psalm 86:5; Isaiah 1:18). Human beings are sinful, so forgiveness may not come naturally to us, but as new creations in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17), our general attitude should be readiness to forgive others (Proverbs 17:9; 19:11; 24:29). The New Testament emphasizes our obligation to forgive others. Jesus includes a statement to that effect in the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:12) and a parable that teaches us to forgive as God forgives us (Matthew 18:35). Jesus also taught that we should not have a limit to our willingness to forgive (Luke 17:3–4). And Christ is our example: On the cross, being crucified due to no sin of His own, Christ still asked the Father to forgive those who were persecuting Him (Luke 23:34). Ultimately, Christians should forgive because we have been forgiven.

from the old testament

God is loving, and He desires to forgive us of our sins: "For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you" (Psalm 86:5).
Proverbs advises us of the wisdom of forgiving others (Proverbs 17:9; 19:11).

from the new testament

Jesus’s Parable of the Unforgiving Servant tells of a king who forgives a servant of debts, but the servant doesn’t do likewise to those who owe him debts. The servant is condemned for this: “Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’” (Matthew 18:32–33). The king has the servant thrown into jail. Jesus concluded, "So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart" (Matthew 18:35).
In the Lord’s prayer, Jesus brings up our obligation to forgive others as He asks the Father, "And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors" (Matthew 6:12). Just as forgiveness toward others is a mark of being forgiven by God, a complete lack of forgiveness is a mark of an unforgiven debt to God.
Christ calls His followers to forgive without limit (Luke 17:3–4).
God does not withhold forgiveness from anyone who earnestly seeks it (1 John 1:9): "To him all the prophets bear witness that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name" (Acts 10:43).
We forgive because Christ forgave us: "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32).

implications for today

In our “cancel culture” age, forgiveness isn’t popular. For the “crime” of going against popular opinion, cancel culture victims are made to pay. Mistakes are publicized, and canceled people publicly apologize as a modern-day form of public humiliation. But their livelihoods are often destroyed.

God could have “canceled” flawed humanity for our many sins against Him, but instead, He sent His Son to die for our sins. Knowing that, can we really refuse to forgive those who have wronged us? As Christians, our goal is not to cancel but to confer forgiveness and pray that the person in question repents and seeks God’s forgiveness.

If your first thought is, “But my situation is different,” you’re on the road to excuse-making, rather than following Jesus’s model. Keep in mind, though, that forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation, nor does it require an immediate restoration of trust. It does not mean continuing to place yourself in an abusive relationship, nor is it withholding consequences for the one who has sinned against you. Rather, forgiveness means a willingness to extend mercy to people who have wronged us. We are willing to release them from the debt, not holding their wrongs against them, just as our Lord did for us. Though that may seem impossible, by God's grace, Christians can be ready to extend forgiveness with a loving heart.

understand

God forgave us, so we are called to extend that same mercy to others.
Forgiveness reflects God's nature and Christ’s example.
Forgiveness is an act of grace, not a denial of justice or consequences.

reflect

What keeps you from letting go of an offense, and how does remembering God’s forgiveness toward you challenge that mindset?
How have you experienced God’s mercy in your own life, and how can that shape the way you approach those who have wronged you?
When you think of forgiveness as releasing someone from a personal debt, what changes in your heart or attitude become necessary?

engage

How does Jesus’s example of forgiving on the cross redefine what it means to extend mercy in difficult situations?
How does not understanding what forgiveness is or isn’t hinder someone from practicing it?
How can believers encourage one another to pursue forgiveness in a culture that often promotes retaliation or cancellation?