How can I have intimacy with God?

Restoration Kingdom Living Christian Life

TL;DR:

Intimacy with God is already yours in Christ—it doesn’t come and go based on how you feel. When He seems distant, it’s not because He left, but because something is clouding your awareness of His constant presence.

what does the bible say?

Intimacy with God is not something we strive to achieve—it is a reality already secured through faith in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21; 1 Corinthians 1:30). Because we are made righteous in Him, we are brought into a deep, personal relationship where God dwells with us and makes His home in us (Proverbs 3:32; John 14:23; John 17:26). This intimacy is grounded in His promises, not in our fluctuating emotions, reminding us that His presence is constant even when our feelings are not (Hebrews 13:5–6). While obedience flows out of this relationship, it is not a means of earning closeness but a response to the closeness we already have (John 14:23; Romans 5:8). When we sin, the tension we feel is not God leaving us, but the Spirit within us stirring conviction, proving that the relationship is real (Ephesians 4:30). Even God’s discipline is evidence of His love and commitment to us, drawing us back into deeper fellowship (Hebrews 12:5–11). So for believers, intimacy with God is a secure, living relationship—one we grow in as we trust Him, return to Him, and rest in His unchanging presence.

from the old testament

Proverbs 3:32 (NASB) tells us that God is intimate, or has deep relationship, with the righteous.

from the new testament

Every believer has intimacy with Christ. Because of our faith, we are righteous before God (2 Corinthians 5:21; 1 Corinthians 1:30), and we know that He is intimate with the righteous (see Proverbs 3:32, NASB).
In His High Priestly Prayer, Jesus described the intimacy He has with believers, saying "I made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them" (John 17:26). He spoke to His disciples about how the Father and the Son make a home with those who love Him (John 14:23). Nothing is more intimate than making a home with someone.
God's intimacy with His children is a fact, and our knowledge of it is based on faith in His promises, not on an internal sense of His presence, or on a swell of emotion or lack thereof. We do know that God desires obedience, and that the one who loves Him will keep His word (John 14:23). But that obedience is a result of our intimacy with God, rather than something we do to woo Him closer to us. He is a proactive God; He loves proactively—as the Scripture says, "while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). He has promised never to leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5-6).
Sin will always break our intimacy with God, but this is not because God has walked away—it is because of our intimacy with Him that we feel unhappy in those times. His Spirit dwells in us, and when we drag Him through sin, He doesn't like it and makes His unhappiness known. This is why Paul tells Christians not to grieve the Holy Spirit of God (Ephesians 4:30). If we did not have intimacy with God, and He was truly far from us, we would not feel His displeasure when we sin.
Even God’s discipline is a sign that both His love and His intimacy with us are real (Hebrews 12:5-11), and we can take great comfort in that.

implications for today

Many Christians who feel that they do not have intimacy with God actually do have intimacy with Him, but they are misinterpreting a lack of emotion for lack of God's presence. There's nothing wrong with feeling emotional about God, but those feelings should not be relied upon as a proof of His presence. We know from experience that some people are more emotional than others, and that emotions are not always consistent. Thankfully, God's love and presence do not depend on anything so changeable.

We are always in an intimate relationship with God. But, just as in a marriage, if one spouse hurts another, it can cause brokenness and pain. Ask forgiveness, and a loving spouse will return without holding a grudge. A believer's relationship with God is the most forgiving relationship there is—the moment we return to Him, He forgives and loves, without bitterness or resentment.

understand

Intimacy with God is already secured through faith in Christ.
God’s presence is constant and based on His promises, not our feelings.
God is near, even when we don’t feel it; when we feel far away, we should return to Him, for He has not moved away.

reflect

When you don’t feel close to God, what helps you see what might be clouding your awareness of His constant presence?
How are you responding to the intimacy you already have with God as a believer?
When you experience conviction or discipline, how can you see it as part of God’s intimate and personal relationship with you?

engage

How can we help each other rely on God’s promises rather than emotions when it comes to experiencing intimacy with Him?
How does understanding that intimacy with God is already secured change our relationship with Him?
Why is honest repentance and restoration so important to renew fellowship with God?

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