What is toxic masculinity?

from the old testament

• Meekness isn’t normally associated with the stereotype of masculinity, but it’s a trait that men (and women) should exhibit because God wants us to (Psalm 25:9). Numbers 12:3 describes Moses, the man God chose to lead the Hebrew people out of Egypt, as “very meek, more than all people who were on the face of the earth.”
• David was someone God described as “a man after his own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14). He exemplified both the positive traits of masculinity when he openly showed his joy in the Lord (2 Samuel 6:14) and the negative traits when he let his sinful desires guide his actions (2 Samuel 11:4, 11:15).

from the new testament

• Jesus is the model of perfect masculinity. He didn’t shirk from confronting sin (John 12:13-16), yet He also showed care and compassion to people (Mark 1:40-41; John 6:5-13).
• Ephesians 5:25 emphasizes a husband’s duty to show self-sacrificing love toward his wife, which puts to rest the domineering, demanding misrepresentation that the world often paints of Christian husbands.
• First Timothy 3:1-7 describes the qualifications for church elders: ‘The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.” That contrasts with the caricature of masculinity depicted as hard-drinking, crass-mouthed fighters or the wealth-focused corporate tycoons.

implications for today

“Toxic” brings to mind an opaque bottle with a big red X on it. The message is clear: Stay away; this is dangerous. Today, some people want to put that X on behaviors that are typically male and label them “toxic masculinity.” Modern schools, public places, and even churches have, at times, actively discouraged noisiness, risk-taking, roughhousing, and competition. They try to suppress positive male-ness and treat boys like malfunctioning girls in need of re-programming.

Some men, in reaction to this, turn to negative influences and antisocial attitudes. They may rebel by trying to copy the stereotypical behavior of the “real men” shown in Hollywood action movies: suppressing emotions, fighting “like a man," expressing a promiscuous and domineering attitude with women, and more.

Bible-believing Christians should help men sort through the confusing social attitudes to see how the Lord defines a “real man.” As with every important issue, the answer is Christ. Believers should encourage men to emulate the ideal in masculinity: Jesus. Christ showed strength and conviction, caring and courage. He also showed his emotions without losing self-control. Christ is the perfect role model for all, including men seeking to glorify God with their masculinity.