What should the top priorities in our family life be?

from the old testament

• God designed marriage to be a lifelong union where husband and wife become one in every part of life (Genesis 2:24). Setting this oneness above all other relationships builds the foundation for a healthy, God-honoring family.
• Deuteronomy 6:7 calls parents to teach God's Word diligently to their children throughout daily life. Making faith instruction a constant priority helps children grow up with a clear understanding of who God is and how to follow Him.

from the new testament

• Ephesians 5:33 teaches that a husband must love his wife as himself, and a wife must respect her husband. When love and respect are central in the marriage, the entire family benefits from a godly example of unity and grace.
• Jesus prayed in John 17:22 that His followers would be one, just as He and the Father are one. When families live in unity with other believers, they model the love and harmony that God desires for His people.
• First Timothy 3:4-5 indicates that if our children are in a place where they need more time and attention, it is absolutely biblical to take a hiatus from church ministry to see to their needs.
• Mark 7:9-13 demonstrates that our older parents should have a priority on our resources over our time in ministry. A healthy family life is important to our work in the church body. In this passage, Jesus rebukes those who neglect their parents under the appearance of religious devotion. Supporting and honoring parents is a family priority that reflects our obedience to God and gratitude for those who raised us.

implications for today

Lists are very convenient. Being able to check off items on a list gives us a feeling of accomplishment and closure. But God's to-do lists in the Bible aren't about what we are supposed to do; they're guidelines that show who we are in Him. And who we are is a much bigger picture than a list of priorities.

The Christian's master list is simple: love God and love others (Matthew 22:37-40). This is our greatest priority in life. How these two things are accomplished looks differently in different situations. In relation to family, we are to love our wives and respect our husbands (Ephesians 5:33), become one in marriage (Genesis 2:21-24), train our kids to follow God (Deuteronomy 6:7), support our parents (Mark 7:9-13), and live in unity with other believers (John 17:22).

But these relationships are not one-time tasks. We are not told to love and respect our spouses until we are done and then we can pay attention to our kids. Instead, God created the Christian life to encompass every relationship at the same time. Our focus may shift depending on circumstances, but Jesus never said, "Love your neighbors one at a time."

Our family priorities should fit within the context of our relationship with God and our role in His kingdom. The purpose of marriage is to become a unit that is internally supportive and works together to serve God. Part of that support and work relates to raising children and taking care of older parents. We raise children to love and serve God. We take care of our own parents out of appreciation for how God provided us with them and to preserve church resources for the needy. These relationships continue to build on each other. Keeping our parents close enough that we can care for them gives our kids an example of responsibility as well as a sense of extended family. Loving and disciplining our kids helps create peace in our families today and prepares them for godly work in the future.

Priorities in the family remind us that we are not building our personal kingdom but finding our place in God's kingdom. Ultimately, everything in the Christian life comes down to how our actions demonstrate our commitment to Christ. If we accept the community of family and church that He's provided for us, we need to value it as much as He does. Priorities simply become those things we need to do now to best glorify God.