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Is the concept of soulmates biblical?

The idea that God has designated a specific spouse for each person, or that everyone has a "soulmate" who is a "perfect fit" and apart from whom you can never be happy, is not biblical.

Sometimes, the idea of a soulmate confuses and delays a single person from committing to marriage. Sometimes, the idea of a soulmate provides an excuse to someone who is married to seek divorce. Both views are flawed.

Marriage is designed as a lifelong covenant, so it is wise not to enter into it lightly. But fear that we might be missing our true soulmate should not hinder moving forward with a God-honoring relationship. Studying what the Bible says about marriage, praying over the decision, and getting wise counsel from those who know you well and also those with marriage experience are important things to do before getting married. But looking for someone who will "complete you" or be a "perfect fit" is largely fruitless. No human is meant to "complete" any other human. Only God can meet our deepest needs and speak to the most vacuous voids in our hearts. A spouse should certainly complement us and be a good fit. And clearly we do not want to marry someone for whom we do not have genuine love and affection. Marriage is meant to be a joyous and fruitful bond in which the spouses are better together than apart. But such a relationship is often not what is thought of when people refer to soulmates.

As stated above, marriage is a lifelong covenant. When we are married, our spouse is functionally our soulmate. In talking with the Pharisees about divorce laws, Jesus said, "… Because of your hardness of heart [Moses] wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, 'God made them male and female.' 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate" (Mark 10:5–9). Marriage joins a man and woman together. Being one flesh in marriage is what makes a person our soulmate.

This is not to say that people do not sometimes make unwise choices in a marriage partner. But the argument that we married the wrong person is not a biblical grounds for divorce. God is able to redeem even the hardest of marriages. The God who saves sinners from eternal damnation also transforms us (2 Corinthians 5:17–21; Philippians 1:6).

Both the single person and the married person should learn what the Bible says about marriage. Some places to start are Genesis 1—2, Ephesians 5:22–33, and Colossians 3:18–21.

When we trust in Him and not our own understanding, He will provide direction (Proverbs 3:5–6). When we continue growing our relationship with God, He will not fail to offer us direction and guidance in all areas of our life—including finding a spouse and throughout marriage. Sometimes God's direction comes through other people. So if confusion or doubt about your relationships remains, please seek out a pastor or Christian counselor.



Related Truth:

How will I know when I've found the right spouse for me?

In marriage how do the two become one flesh?

With all its challenges, why even consider marriage?

Does the Bible talk about dating / courting?

What does the Bible teach about marriage?


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