Does the Bible talk about self-love / loving self?

TL;DR:

The Bible talks against self-absorption and selfishness, which is what self-love is culturally. However, we are called to love others as we love ourselves, which implies that we love ourselves. Having a right view of God leads to appropriate love of God, love of others, and love of self.

what does the bible say?

The Bible cautions against self-absorption and selfishness, highlighting the importance of considering others alongside ourselves (Proverbs 18:1; Philippians 2:3-4). Appropriate self-love results from understanding ourselves rightly. Acknowledging our unique identity and God's plan for our lives fosters a balanced self-perception, allowing us to embrace both our strengths and weaknesses (Romans 12:1–8; Ephesians 2:10). True humility involves recognizing our need for God's grace without diminishing our worth or belittling His creation (Genesis 1:27; Ephesians 1:3–14). Ultimately, Christians are called to love themselves appropriately while also loving others and honoring God above all.

from the old testament

Proverbs 18:1 warns against self-absorption and selfishness.
Leviticus 19:18 calls the Israelites to “love your neighbor as yourself.”

from the new testament

The Bible warns against self-absorption or selfishness (Philippians 2:3; 1 Corinthians 13:4-6; Romans 2:8; 15:1–2).
Philippians 2:4 says, "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." We are not commanded not to love ourselves, but we are called to love ourselves and to love others. There is a healthy, biblical way to love oneself.
Jesus noted that loving one’s neighbor as oneself was the second greatest commandment. The first was to love God with all of one’s being. These two laws—to love God and love others—form the basis of the Law and Prophets (Matthew 22:34–40).
Jesus called His followers to love others as He had loved them (John 13:34–35). Jesus knew who He was and what He was on earth to do (John 13:1–20). His right view of self enabled Him to love (John 13:1, 3–4; Philippians 2:1–11).

implications for today

Healthy self-love begins with an accurate view of who we are. Psalm 139 leaves no doubt that we are special. We were created by God, and He paid attention to the details. There is no cookie-cutter person; we are each unique. Jesus told us that God numbers the hairs on our head (Luke 12:7). We matter to God. God has a plan for our lives (Ephesians 2:10). God desires fellowship with us (John 17:24; Revelation 21:3). Our bodies are God's temple (1 Corinthians 6:19–20). The Holy Spirit dwells with us (John 14:16–17; Romans 8:9–17). God is at work in us and is faithful to complete that work (Philippians 1:6; 2:12–13).

Sometimes Christians think that to live a life truly honoring to God we must be self-sacrificial to the point of martyrdom. If we do not believe we are the scum of the earth, then we doubt our humility. This perspective is inaccurate. Yes, there will be hardships in our lives (John 16:33). Some of us may be asked to sacrifice our lives for the sake of the gospel. However, appropriate humility is having an accurate view of self—understanding our sinfulness and God's salvation, recognizing both our weaknesses and our strengths. It means looking to God for our identity rather than judging our self-worth through comparisons. When we belittle ourselves, we belittle God's creation. When we receive God’s love for us, we are able to love Him and love others rightly (1 John 4:7–21).

So, should Christians love themselves? Yes! God loves us. But we also do not love ourselves to the point of disobeying God. We do not allow self-love to turn into self-focus, making a god of ourselves or placing our desires above all else. We do not indulge our sinful natures or dismiss other people. Instead, we see ourselves and others the way God sees us, and we seek to love others as well as we love ourselves.

understand

The Bible discourages self-absorption and selfishness.
The Bible calls us to love God above all else and to love others as we love ourselves, implying that we are to love ourselves.
We can love ourselves by seeing ourselves rightly, not too highly and not devaluing ourselves.

reflect

How might seeing yourself through God's eyes influence how you think about and care for yourself? How might it impact your approach to relationships with others?
Are there any areas in your life where self-absorption might be affecting your ability to serve or connect with others?
How does the idea of appropriate self-love being a result of a right understanding of self before God challenge or affirm your view of self-worth? How does your view of self impact your love for God? How does your view of self impact your ability to love others as Jesus loved (John 13:34–35; 1 Corinthians 13)?

engage

What is the fine line between loving oneself and self-absorption?
What might it look like to honor God by valuing yourself as His creation without letting self-focus take priority over obedience?
How can we develop a balanced view of self that aligns with biblical humility, recognizing both our value in God and our need for His grace?