How can I not take offense at little things? How can I stop being so easily offended?

from the old testament

• Love covers all offenses (Proverbs 10:12), but this is easier said than done. Yet from the examples God has given us of His own love extended toward us despite our offenses, we can take after His example and do the same for others.
• Harboring bitterness or lashing out in anger rather than quickly forgiving an offense is tempting. However, the latter is the road that most benefits us even if it has no effect on our offender’s future actions (Proverbs 19:11). Thinking of our own sin and the wrong we’ve done to others (as we all have) helps us to let an offense go.
• Proverbs 17:27 says, “"Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.” Even those who feel offended do not need to let others know. Praying to God and asking Him for patience helps the anger to pass.

from the new testament

• Christ forgave us of our offenses against Him, so He is the person we can reach out to for guidance when we are struggling to forgive those who have offended us (Ephesians 1:5–7).
• We can confidently approach God in asking Him to help us extend grace and forgiveness (Hebrews 4:16).
• We often lack wisdom in how we can approach or forgive someone who has hurt us, so we must go to the Giver of wisdom to help guide us in this (James 1:5).
• People will commit many sins against us—some small, some monumental—, but we can choose to follow Christ’s example. We can forgive instead of grow bitter, show grace instead of holding on to offenses, and love instead of hate (1 Peter 4:8).
• First Peter 5:6–7 encourages us to humble ourselves and cast our anxieties on God, and this applies to situations in which we have been wronged or offended. God desires to help us, so we should humble ourselves and welcome Him to do so.
• Scripture encourages us to not dwell on evil thoughts, but on thoughts that build up: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8). This supports letting go of offenses.

implications for today

A good place to start in trying to avoid taking offense so easily is examining the motivation behind your feelings. Some see themselves as lesser than others and overcompensate for that by trying to elevate themselves. Conversely, our pride and high view of ourselves can easily lead us to take offense. Both states of mind rely on a false sense of self that is dependent on what others say rather than what God says about us.

When we disassociate our own sense of security from our performance and perspective, our response to what happens around us will change. Doing so is part of becoming spiritually mature—we must remember who we are in Christ. We must also obey Jesus' command to love others well (Luke 6:27–32; John 13:34–35)—no matter who they are or what they have done. This doesn’t mean that we have to fake our feelings; biblical “love” is not based on mere feelings. Agape love is the self-sacrificing love that God has for us and that we should show for others. For instance, praying for someone who has lashed out at us or mocked us helps us to overcome our anger (try it!). Our offender, just like us, needs building up, forgiveness, and ultimately, love. You don’t have to pretend your offender was right; you just have to overlook the offense and pray for the offenders despite them being wrong.

What about repeat offenders? Jesus addresses that by telling us we must repeatedly forgive (Matthew 18:21-22). This doesn’t mean that we have to reconcile the relationship. But we do have to offer them the gift of our forgiveness; they have to open that gift by repenting, but we’ve done our part by offering it.

The road to loving those who offend us, especially repeat offenders, is a hard one—but as we walk it daily we can lean on Jesus for support, wisdom, and strength (John 14:13–14).