Soul ties – What does the Bible say?

TL;DR:

A "soul tie" is a connection between two people often used to justify an ungodly relationship. Soul ties are not biblical; instead, commitment to love is far more important than mystical bonds formed between two people.

what does the bible say?

Soul ties are emotional, spiritual, or psychological connections formed between two people, often through close relationships or intimate experiences. The concept of soul ties is often understood as love at first sight or an obsession that is so strong it feels like two souls are entwined. The Bible does not allow for the existence of a "soul tie."

Genesis makes it clear that when two people get married, their flesh joins, but not their souls. In Exodus 20, God lays out the commandments that His people must follow. One of these commandments is to not commit idolatry. If we obsess over someone we feel soul tied with, we risk making that person (or our idea of that person) an idol that replaces God in our life. In Jeremiah, we are reminded of the distrustful nature of our hearts; even if we feel soul tied to someone we should not let our feelings dictate our actions because our hearts are “deceitful” and “desperately wicked” (Jeremiah 17:9).

Instead of chasing after soul ties, we should focus on being the right person for the one to whom we are married or the one we will be married to. Commitment to love is far more important than mystical bonds formed between two people.

from the old testament

Genesis 2:24 says that a married couple becomes "one flesh," not one soul.
If we idolize someone we feel we have a soul tie with, we are breaking God’s commandment: “You shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3).
We should not depend on feelings of being soul tied to someone to guide our decisions, because our hearts cannot be trusted (Jeremiah 17:9).

from the new testament

In Matthew 22:30 Jesus says that there is no marriage in heaven—which would not be the case if people were joined in their souls.
Sometimes the concept of soul ties is used as an excuse to stay in a relationship that is unbiblical; instead of indulging in our passions, we should confess our sin (1 John 1:9).

implications for today

What we think of as a "soul tie" likely has much to do with our sense of smell. The closer two people are, the more they get used to the hormones the other emits. Dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, and vasopressin all combine to make us "feel" in love. God allowed this to help married couples feel a close bond in their relationship. Another possible source of the feeling of a soul tie is a psychological obsession. Romantic obsessions are based on what we think of the other person, which is often incongruent with reality. The only soul we are tied to is the Holy Spirit. If He indwells us, He is entwined with our soul. All other relationships, no matter how close, are secondary to our relationship with God.

People often use the concept of soul ties to justify leaving a marriage by claiming they've found someone they are more deeply connected with on a spiritual or emotional level. This view undermines the biblical commitment to marriage, which prioritizes love, faithfulness, and honoring God over feelings of connection. While we may experience deep connections with others, our ultimate identity and fulfillment come from being united with Christ, not from human relationships or emotional bonds.

understand

The Bible speaks of two people becoming "one flesh" in marriage but does not mention their souls being joined together.
Obsessing over someone due to a perceived soul tie can become idolatry and has us chasing emotions not commitment.
True soul ties are with the Holy Spirit, and our deepest connection and fulfillment should come from Him, not human relationships.

reflect

How might focusing on a "soul tie" relationship affect your commitment to love and honor God above all?
Have you ever found yourself idolizing a relationship or person in your life? How can you redirect your heart back to God?
What steps can you take to ensure your deepest emotional and spiritual bond is with the Holy Spirit?

engage

People often use the concept of soul ties to justify leaving a marriage by claiming they've found someone they are more deeply connected with on a spiritual or emotional level. This view undermines the biblical commitment to marriage, which prioritizes love, faithfulness, and honoring God over feelings of connection. Why do you think the idea of a soul tie is so appealing to many, and how does it contrast with the biblical concept of "one flesh" in marriage?
How can identifying an unhealthy obsession with someone help us move towards healing and freedom in Christ?
What role does our relationship with God play in forming healthy boundaries in human relationships?