Why is loving others often so hard to do?

TL;DR:

As Christians, we are called to love everyone, from people we love dearly to others that we do not even like. Our connection with God can greatly impact our capacity to love the people around us.

The Bible is full of examples, exhortations, and commands to love others. God calls us not only to love those who love us and are easy to love but also to show love to those who do not love us and are difficult to love (Matthew 5:44). Though it is difficult to do so, we are commanded to pray, be kind, and have compassion for our enemies and for those who would do us harm (Luke 6:27-28). We are also to remember that God showed us great love while we were still living in sin and rebelling against Him (Romans 5:8). If God shows us love in this way, we should do the same for others (Ephesians 5:1-2). Loving the way God calls us to is impossible on our own, but as believers, we have Jesus’ example and the Spirit’s power to help us (Galatians 5:22-23).

from the old testament

Leviticus 19:18 indicates that we are not to seek revenge or hold grudges against people who wrong us but rather are to love everyone as we love ourselves, out of honor for God.
When we love God with our whole hearts (Deuteronomy 6:5), we grow closer to Him. This connection helps us to better love others.
As sinful people, we can sometimes get so stuck in our selfish, sinful desires that we find it very hard to love others (Psalm 51:5).

from the new testament

In Matthew 5:44, Jesus teaches us to pray for those who persecute us and to show kindness to those who hate us.
As Jesus says in Matthew 5:46-47, we accomplish very little if we only love those who show love to us and not also to those who are difficult to love.
The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant in Matthew 18:21-35 shows the great importance of extending the same forgiveness we have received to others around us.
Even on the cross, Jesus demonstrated love and forgiveness to those who accused and crucified Him (Luke 23:34).
As stated in John 15:5, we can do nothing without a strong connection to Christ. We must remain in Him if we want to love others the way He asks us to.
Stephen, the first Christian to be killed for his faith, extended love and forgiveness to those at whose hands he died (Acts 7:59-60).
Romans 5:8 explains that God showed His love toward us by sending Jesus to die for us while we were still living in our sin. We should, likewise, extend love to those who we may have wronged us.
Romans 5:10: We are described as being God’s enemies before we are reconciled to Him through faith in Jesus, yet He still loves us.
Romans 8:7-8: If we are not connected to God but are living for our own sinful desires, we cannot submit to God’s law, part of which is to love others.
First John 3:18 tells us that we e are not just to say that we love others or tell them we love them; we are to show love through our actions toward them.
God is love and by being redeemed by Him we know Him and if we know Him, we can love others (1 John 4:7-8).

implications for today

Loving others, especially difficult people, is a challenge for several reasons: . One is our disconnected relationship with God. The Bible teaches us that God is love and that we cannot truly love others unless we are reconciled and close to Him. Another reason we can find others difficult to love is because of hurt and anger for wrongs they have done against us. But the Bible tells us to pray even for those who persecute us and to do good to those who hate us. This requires getting God’s help to let go of our anger , trusting the Lord’s justice , and showing others love instead of hatred.

Scripture commands us to show love to all people, no matter how they view or treat us. In a world that tells people to only love those who love them or are kind to them, we must act differently. Scripture presents examples of situations where it was hard for someone to love those persecuting them, yet they did so anyway. Jesus and Stephen, the first Christian to be martyred for his faith, are great examples of people acting in love and forgiveness to those who persecuted and hated them.

God is the greatest source of perfect love and living in the Spirit as opposed to walking according to our fleshly desires will help us love those we do not necessarily want to love. We can also remember that before we were saved, we were God’s enemies through our sinful lives, yet He still chose to love us and sent Jesus to save us. When we are reminded of this, it is easier to extend that same love to those we may consider enemies. God loves everyone, and if we try to see people as He does, we can , with His help through the Holy Spirit, love them, too.

understand

Loving people can be difficult, but God calls us to love others.
We, as Christians, are commanded to love everyone, not just our friends, but even those we consider enemies.
A strong connection to God is vital to loving others.

reflect

In what ways do you find loving others difficult, and how does remembering God’s love for you, even when you were living in sin, influence the way you treat others who are hard to love?
How does praying for someone who hurt you or treated you poorly impact you and your situation?
How can you rely on the Holy Spirit to help you love others, especially when it feels impossible?

engage

How can we encourage others to show love to those who are difficult to love?
What practical steps can we take to love others through actions rather than just words?
How does reflecting on God’s forgiveness and love for His enemies challenge the way we approach relationships with those who oppose us and are difficult to love, and how does loving others in this way impact our witness to the world?