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If I don't forgive others, are my sins not forgiven?

If I don't forgive others, are my sins not forgiven?
Restoration Kingdom Living Relationships

TL;DR:

Your salvation is secured by Christ, not by your ability to forgive. But when you grasp how much God has forgiven you, extending forgiveness to others should become a natural response.

what does the bible say?

Salvation is not earned by how well we forgive others but is secured entirely through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, received by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8–9; John 3:16). Yet Jesus taught that those who have experienced God's forgiveness should also be willing to forgive others, reflecting the mercy they themselves have received (Matthew 6:14–15; Matthew 18:22). But this extension of forgiveness is a result of the forgiveness we have received. On the cross, Jesus modeled this forgiveness by praying for those who crucified Him (Luke 23:34). Unforgiveness does not cause a believer to lose salvation, but it can hinder fellowship with God, harden the heart, and rob a person of peace and spiritual growth (1 John 1:9–10; John 13:10). Continued unforgiveness could be a sign that you are not truly saved. For this reason, God calls believers to release bitterness, refuse revenge, and entrust justice to God rather than carrying resentment indefinitely (Leviticus 19:18; Colossians 3:13). Forgiveness and reconciliation are not identical, since trust and relationship restoration often require repentance and time, but believers are still called to let go of the debt they feel others owe them. As we remember the immeasurable forgiveness Christ has shown us, we find the strength to forgive others and experience greater freedom, peace, and fellowship with Him (1 John 4:10; Romans 14:12).

from the old testament

  • In Leviticus 19:18, God charges His people to forgive others: "You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD."

from the new testament

  • While on the cross, Christ asked His Father to forgive those who tortured and crucified Him, offering the ultimate gift of forgiveness (Luke 23:34).
  • In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus told His disciples, "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
  • Our eternal salvation is based upon Christ's death, not upon our works as seen in Ephesians 2:8-9, John 3:16, 1 John 2:2 and 1 John 4:10. The word propitiation means that Jesus was/is the acceptable sacrifice for sin.
  • An example of day-to-day forgiveness is described in John 13 when Jesus washed the disciples' feet. He told Peter that he was clean but just needed a minor cleansing to stay in fellowship with the Lord (John 13:10).
  • Paul told the believers in Rome that each one of us will stand before the Lord and give an account of our deeds (Romans 14:12), but not for salvation. This account will bring us to complete reconciliation with the Lord (Colossians 1:20).
  • The Apostle John gives us a way to receive forgiveness in 1 John 1:9-10. When we confess our sins, He promises to forgive and cleanse us.
  • Jesus expects us to forgive others and especially our fellow believers (Matthew 18:22; Colossians 3:13; 1 John 2:3-6).

implications for today

When we truly realize the depth of the mercy and forgiveness of Christ for us, all that He gave up and went through for us, we must be willing to forgive others. That does not make the wrong done to us insignificant, but it does put our own need for grace into perspective. If God has freely forgiven us an immeasurable debt, how can we cling so tightly to the debts others owe us?

Forgiveness does not mean pretending the hurt never happened, excusing sinful behavior, or immediately restoring trust. Reconciliation requires repentance, trustworthiness, and often time; forgiveness does not. Forgiveness is choosing to release the desire for revenge and entrusting justice to God. In many cases, we may never speak to the person again, but we can still surrender our bitterness and refuse to let their sin continue to control our hearts.

Unforgiveness is not a burden we carry against someone else; it is a burden we carry within ourselves. Left unchecked, it can harden our hearts, poison relationships, consume our thoughts, and rob us of joy and peace. It can keep old wounds fresh for years, allowing past sins to continue shaping our present lives. The longer bitterness remains, the deeper its roots grow.

If there is someone you struggle to forgive, bring that person and that pain honestly before the Lord. Ask Him to help you remember how much you have been forgiven and to give you the strength to release what you cannot carry. Forgiveness is often a process, not a single moment, but every step toward it is a step toward freedom. As we let go of bitterness and entrust justice to God, we experience greater peace, a clearer conscience, and deeper fellowship with the One who forgave us first.

understand

  • Our salvation is not based upon anything except Christ's death for our sins.
  • If we have not forgiven someone, our relationship with the Lord and others will be hindered.
  • Continued unforgiveness could be a sign that we, ourselves, are not forgiven by God because those who have been forgiven much, forgive much.

reflect

  • How has your relationship with the Lord and others been hindered by an unforgiving attitude?
  • Why is it so difficult to forgive those who have harmed or offended you?
  • What helps you forgive others, even if reconciliation is not possible?

engage

  • How can we help others see the need for a spirit of forgiveness to those who have offended them?
  • How are forgiveness and reconciliation different?
  • How can we demonstrate to others that unforgiveness might lead to even more harmful sins?

More Resources

Relationships Should we forgive people who don’t ask for forgiveness?

Should we forgive people who don’t ask for forgiveness?

Even if someone never asks for forgiveness, the Bible calls us to forgive as an act of grace rooted in God’s mercy toward us. Forgiveness frees us from bitterness, entrusts justice to God, and reflects the heart of Christ.
Relationships Should we forgive others when they sin against us?

Should we forgive others when they sin against us?

Christians are called to forgive others as God has forgiven them—offering full forgiveness to those who repent while refusing to carry bitterness toward those who do not. True forgiveness leads to restoration only when there is repentance.
Theology Is 'forgive and forget' a biblical concept?

Is 'forgive and forget' a biblical concept?

The Bible does not use the phrase "forgive and forget." God forgives sinners and points to believers’ responsibility to likewise forgive others.
Relationships How do you forgive someone who has not apologized?

How do you forgive someone who has not apologized?

Forgiveness doesn’t wait for another person to apologize—it releases their offense to God and refuses to be ruled by bitterness or revenge. Even when the offender doesn't make the wrong right by apologizing, we can trust God’s justice and choose to forgive (but not forget) anyway.