Is it okay for a Christian to read romance novels?

TL;DR:

As with all things, God cares about our hearts. We should only read romance novels if they are spiritually edifying to our minds, our relationships, and above all, our walk with God.

As seen in David’s example with Bathsheba, tragedy can result from not guarding our mind. When it comes to romance novels, we should examine both the type of content we are allowing into our minds as well as our motives behind reading it. Jesus informs us that we do not have to physically participate in adultery to commit sexual sin. If a book tempts us to think immoral thoughts, it is better to throw it out. We should do what is beneficial to our relationship with Christ and avoid things that could negatively impact those around us.

In 1 Corinthians 10:23, we see that although all things are lawful, not all things are beneficial, and in 1 Corinthians 10:31, we are told to do everything for the glory of God. For books we are not sure about, we should hold them to the godly attributes in Philippians 4:8. While reading a romance novel might be entertaining, if it causes us to lust, feel or desire things we should not, or cause us to be discontent with the love God has for us, then we should refrain from reading romance novels. Above all, we should pursue loving God and loving others and should seek to glorify Him with our entertainment choices, including reading romance novels.

from the old testament

Devastating results can come from putting ourselves in compromising situations. In 2 Samuel 11:1-4, David’s gradual decline into sin begins with him shirking accountability by remaining in Jerusalem rather than joining his men in battle. One afternoon, he sees a beautiful woman bathing herself. Instead of looking away, he indulges in his lustful desires and abuses his power as king. In secret, he steals Bathsheba from her husband (who is in battle) and commits adultery with her. As shown in David’s example, when we put ourselves in compromising situations, we have a much greater likelihood of giving into temptation.
We should address our motives behind reading romance novels. Psalm 139:23-24 says: “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” We should ask God to search us and reset us on a godly path if our hearts are in the wrong place when it comes to reading romance novels.

from the new testament

Jesus makes it clear in Matthew 5:27-28 that committing the sin of adultery begins well before physically cheating on someone’s spouse. It is, in fact, sinful to have lustful thoughts about anyone, since that person is not our spouse. Even though characters in romance novels are fictional, to let our imaginations lead us into lustful thoughts is undoubtedly sinful. If we have any literature that tempts us to think lustfully, it is better to throw it out than to be like David and put ourselves in morally questionable situations.
Romans 14:20-23 points out the importance of respecting other brothers and sisters in Christ while also knowing our own personal convictions; if we violate our personal convictions, we sin.
First Corinthians 10:23 notes, "'All things are lawful,' but not all things are helpful. 'All things are lawful,' but not all things build up.” Although we have the opportunity to read romance novels, we should evaluate if doing so will build up our lives in Christ or tempt us to sin.
Under God’s law of grace, He grants us great freedom in the choices we make. Our aim should be to honor Him with those choices. Early Christians struggled with what they should eat, so Paul wrote to them to keep their focus on pleasing God: "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God" (1 Corinthians 10:31). If we can read a romance novel for the glory of God, we can exercise that freedom with a clear conscience.
Paul strongly reminds Christians of what to focus our minds on when he writes in Philippians 4:8: "whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." We should apply this to all our entertainment choices, including what we read.

implications for today

Not all romance novels contain objectionable material, sexually charged scenes, and passionate fantasy, but many do. When deciding if we should read a romance novel, we should ask ourselves good questions, such as “Do the romance novels I read help me grow in my relationships with people and with God?,” “Would I be comfortable reading this book to Jesus?,” “What is my motive for reading this book?,” or “Is this book stirring up temptation in my heart?” We should also ask ourselves questions that will help us evaluate if it will be beneficial to those around us. For instance, “Will reading this book tempt me to resent my partner’s shortcomings?”

We should not read romance novels to fill a void of love or passion in our own lives, even if that void is great. For example, some read romance novels to escape their own, sometimes difficult realities. God does not want us to rely on any kind of entertainment for our source of help. He has provided for us "all things that pertain to life and godliness" when we pursue knowing Him (2 Peter 1:3). He alone can fill those voids in our hearts and lives. When determining whether or not to read a specific book or series, God's wisdom is available to the Christian reader. We must simply ask with belief that He will guide us (James 1:5–6), and we can count on Him to answer our prayers.

understand

We need to evaluate whether romance novels are spiritually beneficial and edifying.
We need to examine our motives for wanting to read romance novels.
We need to avoid reading romance novels that contain lustful content or that cause us to think lustful thoughts or have lustful desires.

reflect

What questions can you ask yourself to determine if you should read romance novels?
What motives drive your desire to read romance novels, and how can you ensure they align with your spiritual growth?
How can you determine if there are themes or content in romance novels that stir up temptation or discontent in your heart?

engage

What criteria can we establish to determine whether a romance novel is spiritually beneficial?
How can we support one another in making choices about what we read, especially when it comes to potentially harmful content?
In what ways can we encourage healthier narratives in our reading that promote love and respect in our relationships and trust in God’s timing with love and romance?