How should Christians deal with unanswered prayer?

TL;DR:

When God seems silent, we must trust that He hears and knows best and examine our motives, seek His will, and keep praying with faith and persistence. Even unanswered prayers can strengthen our trust in God’s wisdom, timing, and love.

what does the bible say?

Scripture indicates that God doesn’t listen to the prayers of the unrighteous (Psalm 66:18; Proverbs 15:29; Isaiah 59:1-2; John 9:31). That would mean that none of our prayers would be answered if not for Jesus (Romans 3:10). But those who have a personal relationship with Jesus (John 1:12; 3:16-18) are covered in His righteousness (2 Corinthians 5:21). If we are not covered in Christ’s righteousness because we don’t believe or if our prayers are being directed to some other god, we cannot expect the one true God to answer us. However, the Bible shows that God’s children have access to our Heavenly Father through Jesus at all times (Hebrews 4:15-16; 10:19-23). Even so, sometimes our requests are made with wrong motives (Psalm 66:18; James 4:3), so God’s answer is a “no” even if that’s hard to accept. God knows all things about us (Psalm 139:1-4), including the innermost desires of our heart. Since we are prone to ask for things we shouldn’t, we can ask God to create in us a clean heart (Psalm 51:10) so our requests can honor Him. Since faith is what pleases God (Hebrews 11:6), our prayers should be said in faith without doubt. Sometimes our prayers are unanswered because we’re living in unrepentant sin, which separates us from a relationship with God (Isaiah 59:2). But if we confess our sins to Him, He will “forgive us our sins and . . . cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). Ultimately, God hears all our prayers, but His answer may be “not yet” or “no” and we must accept this as we trust that He knows best.

from the old testament

Our motives should be pure when we make requests of God (Psalm 66:18). If we have wrong motives, we may not have our prayers answered in the way we would like.
God knows us better than we know ourselves (Psalm 139:1-4). If our prayers seem to go unanswered, we can ask God to reveal any sinful ways that are hidden in our hearts (23-24) and create in us a clean heart (Psalm 51:10).

from the new testament

We should not expect answered prayers if we are not first a child of God through Jesus (John 1:12; 3:16-18). Also, we must not expect answered prayers if they are not directed to the triune God of the Bible. He alone has power to answer prayer, and He invites us to pray directly to Him (1 Timothy 2:5).
We can trust in God’s knowledge and also in His care. Hebrews 4:15-16 tells us, "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
True prayer is communicating with the Creator, being in touch with the one who occupies the heavenly throne room. We are granted this privilege only by the sacrifice of life by Jesus Christ (Hebrews 10:19-23).
Our attitude in prayer should be one centered on pleasing God, not ourselves. It is our faith that pleases God (Hebrews 11:6) and that faith must trust in God's rightness in answering our prayers with silence at times.
Though all of our sin—past, present, and future—is atoned for in Jesus, we still sin and it still damages the closeness of our fellowship with God. When we recognize our sin, the solution is to confess it and receive God's cleansing. First John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
The Lord will not fulfill sinful requests (James 4:3). If we ask for something outside of God’s will, our prayers won’t be answered as we would like.

implications for today

Our view is limited by time, space, and knowledge. God is not limited at all. When it appears God is not answering our prayer, we must keep in mind that what seems "unanswered" to us may very well be "answered" by Him.

Alternatively, it could be God is leaving our prayers seemingly unanswered because He is growing us in faith—challenging us to persist in our prayers as we learn to press in closer to Him. As we continue to present our requests before God, He will be faithful to mold and shape us, and to deepen our trust. Ultimately, God is holy, just, and loving, and He invites us to approach Him and tells us that we need just a small amount of faith (Matthew 17:20). As we pray, we should be persistent (Matthew 15:21-28; Luke 18:1-8), humble (Proverbs 3:34; James 4:6), and express gratitude to Him continually (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

understand

God listens to the prayers of His children.
God answers prayers that align with His will.
Understanding God’s omniscience helps us to continue to trust Him even when prayers seem unanswered.

reflect

How do you examine your own motives when your prayers seem unanswered?
What helps you maintain faith and persistence when God delays or denies your prayers?
How does your response to unanswered prayer reflect your trust in God’s wisdom and timing?

engage

How can we better discern whether our shared prayers align with God’s will rather than our own desires?
How can we–both individually and com cultivate a prayer life that honors God?
How can we best respond to problematic teachings about prayer from the Word-of-Faith movement?