How does the Bible describe what is honorable and permissible in marital intimacy? What does the Bible say about sex once married?

TL;DR:

The Bible affirms marital intimacy as a good and honorable gift from God, designed by Him for both procreation and deep relational bonding. Within marriage, what is sexually permissible can be discerned by asking whether it is loving, consensual, honors the one-flesh union, and aligns with God's design for purity and mutual respect.

what does the bible say?

The Bible speaks clearly and positively about marital intimacy, describing it as a good, honorable, and God-ordained gift within the covenant of marriage. Far from being shameful or merely functional, sexual intimacy between a husband and wife is portrayed in Scripture as a means of unity, pleasure, and mutual giving, designed by God for both procreation and deep relational bonding. Sex within marriage is a sacred act that celebrates the covenant of "one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). Within marriage, what is sexually permissible should be discerned by asking whether it is loving, consensual, honors the one-flesh union, and follows God’s design for purity and for the marriage bed to be undefiled. When practiced within the covenant of marriage, sex is a source of lasting joy, intimacy, and unity, reflecting the depth of God's love for His people.

from the old testament

Genesis 2:24 describes the sacred union of marriage, where physical intimacy is part of becoming “one flesh”: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Sexual intimacy is a symbol and seal of the covenant between husband and wife. It is a way of saying, “I belong fully to you.” This oneness is exclusive, permanent, and sacred.
Leviticus 18 gives boundaries for sexual conduct, forbidding incest, adultery, homosexuality, and other sexual immorality and reinforces that sex is only honorable within a husband-wife covenant.
Song of Solomon (especially chapters 4 and 7) reveal a poetic and sensual celebration of physical desire and intimacy in the context of love and marital commitment. The whole book of Song of Solomon affirms that sexual expression in marriage is good, beautiful, and rich. It also shows us that God created sex not only for procreation but also for joy and intimacy between husband and wife.
Proverbs 5:18-19 encourages joyful, passionate physical intimacy within marriage.

from the new testament

Hebrews 13:4 affirms the sanctity of marital intimacy: “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” Sexual intimacy is permissible and honorable within marriage, but must be protected from defilement—such as adultery, pornography, or any form of sexual immorality. The phrase “undefiled” implies that sexual relations between husband and wife are not only allowed but are holy when practiced within the bounds of marriage.
In 1 Corinthians 7:3-5, Paul gives clear instruction: “The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another…” This passage emphasizes mutual consent, authority, and responsibility in sexual intimacy. Sex is to be a regular, loving expression of unity and service to one another.
Marital intimacy should reflect love, respect, and self-giving, not selfishness or exploitation (Ephesians 5:25-–28). Any sexual activity that involves harm, coercion, third parties (physically or virtually), or violates the conscience of either spouse is not honoring to God.
The Bible teaches that sex within marriage is meant to deepen the bond between husband and wife, provide mutual pleasure, and reflect the covenantal love that God has for His people. Sex, when rightly understood and practiced within marriage, is one of those good and perfect gifts given by God (James 1:17).
We are all called to sexual purity whether we are single or married, with sex being reserved for marriage (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5).
First Corinthians 6:18-20 confirms the call for sexual purity too: “Flee from sexual immorality... you are not your own, for you were bought with a price.” Our bodies are to be used to honor God, which includes honoring sex within marriage.

implications for today

Sex within marriage is a beautiful, God-designed gift with deep meaning. More than just a physical act, it is a powerful expression of unity, love, and mutual care between husband and wife. The Bible paints a picture of sexual intimacy as a means of coming together as “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24), where both partners bond physically, emotionally, and spiritually.. Marital sex is a sacred act, protected by the boundaries of the marriage covenant and intended for pleasure and procreation. Sexual expression in marriage should prioritize the well-being of both partners, avoiding selfishness or harm, and stay within the guidelines God has established for relationships. Manipulation, pressure, or disregard for one another's dignity or conscience are not in line with God’s intention for marital sex. Anything that defiles the marriage bed such as lust, pornography, fornication, and more is not permissible as the marriage bed is to remain undefiled (Hebrews 13:4).

Sexual immorality, whether through adultery or other sinful behaviors, damages the soul and relationship. The Bible calls us to honor God with our bodies (1 Corinthians 6:18-20) and to keep sexual intimacy within the boundaries He has set; His design is for our good and flourishing. By following God's vision for sex within marriage, we experience the fullness of His beautiful gift—entrusted within covenant, protected by boundaries, and deeply rooted with love and mutual respect.

understand

Sexual intimacy within marriage is a sacred, God-ordained gift meant to unite, bring pleasure, and deepen relational bonds.
What is permissible in marital sex is defined by mutual consent, love, and respect, staying within the boundaries set by God’s design for purity.
The marriage bed must remain undefiled, avoiding any actions that manipulate, harm, or compromise the sanctity of the covenant.

reflect

How do you view sexual intimacy in the context of marriage, and why did God create it that way?
How can we honor God’s design for marriage by the way we view and treat sex?
How can we safeguard our marriage or future marriage from outside influences or temptations that may threaten the purity of our marital intimacy?

engage

How can we better understand and protect the sanctity of sex within marriage, ensuring it remains a reflection of God’s love and covenant?
How can couples cultivate a deeper sense of intimacy and mutual respect in their relationship, including but not limited to the physical aspect of marriage?
How can we support others in maintaining chastity in singleness and faithfulness in marriage, keeping the gift of sex and intimacy for marriage?