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Is there a right way to pray?

Is there a right way to pray?
Restoration Kingdom Living Christian Life

TL;DR:

There isn’t a perfect formula for prayer, but there is a right posture. Real prayer isn’t about getting what we want; it’s about being changed by God as we seek Him.

what does the bible say?

Prayer is not about following a perfect formula but about entering into a real, transforming relationship with God. It is how we communicate with God, so as with all relationships, the specific words are not what is important but the heart behind the words. Effective prayer begins with humility, recognizing God’s holiness and our need for Him (Matthew 6:9; Luke 18:13). As we submit to His will, prayer becomes a place of repentance and alignment, where our desires are shaped by His purposes and character (Matthew 6:11–13). Prayer is not about getting what we want but about being changed and living out His ways and purposes—drawing near to God so our hearts reflect His will more and more.

from the old testament

  • In the Old Testament, prayer was generally offered through a mediator, requested by the people from a prophet or priest who had a personal relationship with God (Numbers 21:7; 1 Samuel 12:19).
  • Prayer is always tied to a posture of humility and neediness (2 Chronicles 6:38; 7:14)
  • David was in constant prayer to God for deliverance (Psalm 5:2; 116:4; 118:25), for repentance (Psalm 51:1) and as a way to know Him better (Psalm 119:18)
  • Prayer is a process by which we see both God and ourselves properly (Genesis 18:27)

from the new testament

  • We should come humbly before God with a submitted heart, not proudly and arrogantly (Matthew 6:5-6; Luke 18:10-14)
  • Jesus showed His disciples the proper way to approach the Father (Matthew 6:9-13; Luke 11:2-4)
  • We are to pursue daily private prayer with God alone (Matthew 14:23; Mark 6:46; Luke 5:16, 6:12)
  • We should pray for our enemies and those who hate us (Luke 6:28)
  • We are to maintain a constant attitude of prayer and communication with God (Luke 18:1-8; 1 Thessalonians 5:17)
  • Paul tells us to pray for everyone, including those in authority over us (1 Timothy 2:1-2)

implications for today

Any good relationship is based on trust and good communication. If that’s true in our friendships and families, it’s even more true with God—yet many of us treat prayer like a transaction instead of a relationship, only showing up when we need something or repeating words without engaging our hearts. Many of us also treat prayer as if it's where we tell God what we want and expect to fulfill it. But that does not show signs of a good relationship nor a heart surrendered to God, seeking Him above our wants.

True prayer looks like us surrendering ourselves and seeking Him for whatever we share—our fears, frustrations, needs, sins, and desires—and then being willing to let Him reshape those things. It means choosing to trust His wisdom over our instincts and desires when the two don’t align, and being open to the idea that the answer we need most isn’t a changed situation but a changed heart.

In this way, prayer is not about saying the right words but about having the right posture—one that is humble, honest, and fully open to being changed by God. It’s learning to come before Him not to control the outcome but to be shaped by His will. Over time, that kind of prayer transforms how we think, respond, and live, because we’re no longer just bringing requests—we’re building a real relationship with the One who knows us best and has the best for us.

understand

  • Prayer is relational, not transactional.
  • Prayer is relational, not transactional.
  • True prayer changes us, not just our circumstances.

reflect

  • When you pray, how do you seek to approach God with the right heart posture?
  • What do your prayers reveal about your priorities?
  • In what areas of your life do you find it hardest to surrender your desires to God in prayer?

engage

  • Why do people often default to treating prayer like a list of requests rather than a relationship?
  • What does it practically look like for someone to shift from “asking God for things” to “being changed by God” in prayer?
  • How can we help each other develop the right posture to prayer?

More Resources

Christian life Does the Bible talk about bowing or kneeling in prayer?

Does the Bible talk about bowing or kneeling in prayer?

Bowing and kneeling in prayer are biblical expressions of humility, gratitude, and submission to God. Yet Scripture shows prayer can happen in any place, any circumstance, and any posture; what matters most is the heart before God.
Humanity Does God hear my prayers?

Does God hear my prayers?

God hears the prayers of those who earnestly and humbly seek Him. God calls us to come to Him in prayer and to trust in His perfect plan and timing.
Christian life What makes for effective prayer?

What makes for effective prayer?

Effective prayer isn’t about magic words or getting what we want—it’s about knowing God through Jesus and praying in accordance with His Spirit and will. When we pray with faith, humility, and persistence, we deepen our relationship with God and join His work in the world.