What is the right age to get married?

from the old testament

• After God created Eve, He established marriage. We read, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Marriage is not just two people entering a vow but starting a family by separating from their parents. The implication is that a newly married couple must be able to put physical distance between themselves and their parents to learn to function as a self-sufficient unit.
• In the Old Testament, it is not unusual to read about people marrying very early in life. However, Scripture was not setting a pattern for all marriages but describing actual history. In the ancient Near East, young marriages were common. They reflected the greater maturity of youth in those days, differences in society’s views of marriage, and the reality that few lived beyond their 30s, meaning families needed to start early.

from the new testament

• From the New Testament, we gain several pieces of wisdom that apply to all times and all societies. Specifically, it provides wisdom that young believers can apply to start God-honoring marriages. Marriage is the only appropriate place for sexual intimacy (Hebrews 13:4). Because of this, Paul said, “if [a single person] cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Corinthians 7:9). This does not mean one should get married just to have sex. But it expresses the reality that marriage helps believers to guard against this particularly strong temptation. If there is no biblical reason not to get married, then instead of delaying it (and increasing the temptation), one should make the commitment.
• Marriage requires a level of spiritual maturity. This is because both husband and wife have spiritual roles to fulfill. Paul said, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her … [as Christ loves the church] husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself” (Ephesians 5:25–28). Christ’s love was self-sacrificial, and a husband must be willing also to sacrifice himself for the good of his wife.
• Regarding wives, Paul commented, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands” (Ephesians 5:22–24). Being a wife requires dying to self and submitting to her husband, even though imperfect, to exemplify how the church submits to Christ.
• In addition to maturity, believers also should avoid marrying unbelievers. Speaking generally, not just about marriages, Paul said, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14). This general principle applies to marriage: when an unbeliever and a believer partner, they are always at cross-purposes. One is serving God, while the other is serving something else. When this happens within marriage, there’s a dissonance between two who are to be “one flesh” (Matthew 19:5), which will cause difficulty and heartache between them.
• When considering marriage, the most important point is to understand what marriage reflects. Paul said of it, ‘a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:31–32). Entering marriage is entering into a relationship intended to demonstrate Christ’s sacrifice, love, and forgiveness to the other person.

implications for today

Age alone does not determine whether someone is ready for marriage. Two people can be the same age and be at very different levels of spiritual and practical maturity. Rather than asking, “Am I old enough to get married?” the better question is, “Am I ready for what marriage requires?”

If you hope to get married someday, prepare to become someone who is ready to marry. Use your singleness as a season to grow in Christ, develop spiritual maturity, learn to serve others sacrificially, and become increasingly responsible and self-controlled. Marriage will not magically make someone mature, faithful, or godly; it brings two imperfect people together and calls both to continually die to themselves for the good of the other. So rather than obsessing over when marriage will happen, focus on becoming the kind of person who could honor God in marriage. A future husband should be preparing to love and lead his wife sacrificially, and a future wife should be preparing to follow Christ and faithfully support her husband.

At the same time, take marriage seriously enough to prepare for its practical realities. Learn how to manage money, work through conflict, communicate honestly, forgive, keep commitments, and build a household that does not depend on your parents. Most importantly, don’t choose a spouse simply because you are attracted to them or because you don’t want to be alone. Look for someone who genuinely follows Christ and is committed to building a life around Him. Seek counsel from mature Christians who know you well and are willing to tell you the truth, including areas where you still need to grow.

There is no need to rush into marriage or even a relationship because of your age or fear that you are falling behind. Trust God with the timing, and use whatever season you are in to become more like Christ. Whether marriage comes soon or later, a life faithfully devoted to Jesus is never wasted, and when the opportunity for marriage does come, you can enter it not simply because you are old enough but because you are ready to honor God in it.