What does it mean that a wife is supposed to be a helpmeet/ help meet?

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?

God declared everything He made good but said it was not good for man to be alone, so He created woman as a companion and counterpart (Genesis 2:18). The word translated as “helper” is also used to describe God’s help, showing that a wife’s role is noble, not inferior (Deuteronomy 33:26; Psalm 20:2; 70:5; 115:9-–11; 121:1). A helpmeet is not a servant or tool but a partner who complements her husband in purpose, like parallel lines moving in the same direction. A wife was created to join man in fulfilling God’s calling and to walk alongside him in life’s mission. Marriage is built on mutual submission (1 Corinthians 7:4; Ephesians 5:22-25). But marriage is not required of all people, since singleness also offers unique opportunities to serve God (1 Corinthians 7:6-8). Within marriage, though, the helpmeet role brings balance, strength, and unity. God designed marriage as two becoming one flesh, serving Him better together than apart, with the wife’s role as helpmeet being one of honor, strength, and purpose.

FROM THE OLD TESTAMENT

• The word "helpmeet" comes from the King James translation of Genesis 2:18: "And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." Over time "help meet" has morphed into one word that has come to be a Christian phrase for the role a woman fulfills in marriage. "Helpmeet" is also sometimes used as a synonym for "helpmate."
• The ESV puts Genesis 2:18 this way: "Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.'" The NKJV has "a helper comparable" and the NIV uses "a helper suitable."
• The Hebrew word translated as "helper" is `ezer. In other parts of the Bible `ezer is used in reference to God's help, giving a clue to the kind of help that a wife gives (Deuteronomy 33:26; Psalm 20:2; 70:5; 115:9-11; 121:1).
• God declared all that He created “good” (Genesis 1:31), yet after forming Adam He said, “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18). Humans are created as social beings, designed for relationship and community. To meet Adam’s need, God created Eve as his companion, his mate, and the one who would complement him (Genesis 2:21-24).
• As a woman, Eve had different characteristics and strengths from Adam that would aid him in fulfilling God's calling on his life. Adam could not "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth" (Genesis 1:28) on his own. And God, knowing Adam's character intimately, was able to make just the right woman in disposition, personality, and character to help him.

FROM THE NEW TESTAMENT

• Ephesians 5:21 says believers are to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ,” showing that marriage is built on humility and love, not domination. Being a helpmeet does not mean inferiority.
• Ephesians 5:22-25 explains that wives are to respect and submit to their husbands as the church does to Christ, while husbands are commanded to love their wives sacrificially as Christ loved the church. This shows a balance of respect and sacrificial love in marriage.
• First Peter 3:7 teaches that husbands and wives are “heirs together of the grace of life,” highlighting equality in worth and value before God.
• First Corinthians 11:11-12 reminds us that in the Lord, husband and wife are interdependent, created to complement and support one another.

IMPLICATIONS FOR TODAY

Being created in the image of God, a wife does not offer the kind of help a tool or an animal gives; her help is similar to the kind that God can give. The Hebrew word translated as "meet" or "fit" or "suitable" (neged) means "a counterpart" or "a mate" or "corresponding to" or "in front of" or "parallel to." This differs from Adam but is within the same purpose. The help is suitable, or fitting, because it corresponds to him. The concept of a helpmeet gives the picture of parallel lines: the husband and wife are not the same, but they follow the same path. Eve was made as a suitable companion to Adam. A wife being a helpmeet is an honorable and valued position, not one of inferiority.

God created man and woman to work together as a team in His purpose for them, complementing one another in our various strengths and weaknesses. In a societal sense, both men and women are essential and valuable. When speaking specifically of marriage, God created a husband and wife to live together as one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Of course, not every man or woman will get married, and Paul talks about the good opportunities for serving God that come with celibacy (1 Corinthians 7:7-9). However, within the marriage the concept of a wife as a helpmeet essentially means that a wife should be walking in a way that would help her husband, not hinder him. God’s design for marriage reflects His wisdom and beauty: two becoming one to serve Him better together than apart.

UNDERSTAND

• A wife as “helpmeet” is an equal partner, distinct yet complementary.
• “Helper” reflects honor and strength, not inferiority.
• Marriage is two becoming one to serve God together.

REFLECT

• How do you view the idea of a wife being a helper? Does it feel like a role of weakness or strength to you?
• As a wife, how can you walk alongside your spouse (or others in your life) as a true partner rather than in competition?
• How does understanding the word “helper” as a reflection of God’s help change how you see the role of a wife?

ENGAGE

• How does the concept of “helpmeet” reshape common cultural views of marriage roles today?
• What does it look like in practice for husband and wife to complement one another’s strengths and weaknesses?
• How can single believers also live out the principle of being a “helper” in God’s mission, even outside of marriage?