What does it mean to 'train up a child in the way he should go' (Proverbs 22:6)?

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?

Proverbs 22:6 states, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." In Hebrew, the word for "train up" is hanak , one meaning of which is "to dedicate or consecrate." This is how the word is used the three other times it appears in Scripture (Deuteronomy 20:5; 1 Kings 8:63; 2 Chronicles 7:5). It implies the obligation to train a child to serve and obey the Lord. The Bible teaches that a parent's responsibility is to prepare their children to revere God (Exodus 13:2; Deuteronomy 6:4–9; 1 Samuel 1:28; Psalm 37:5; 127:3; Proverbs 16:3; Ephesians 6:4; 2 Timothy 3:14–15). A significant part of this training is sharing God’s Word. Of course, parents must know God's Word so they can teach it to their children (Deuteronomy 6:6–7). Studying Scripture should be prioritized in the home (Deuteronomy 6:9). Besides teaching God’s Word, parents’ behavior must demonstrate their own devotion to God. In Deuteronomy, God indicates that children learn by observing how parents live (Deuteronomy 6:1–2). Discipline is another vital part of preparing a child to lead a life honoring to the Lord (Proverbs 3:11–12). God disciplines His children because He loves us; parents’ love for their children should include discipline as well (Hebrews 12:3–11). Children need parents who will train them, raising them to be servants of God.

FROM THE OLD TESTAMENT

• Proverbs 22:6 advises parents to “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” A parent’s role is to prepare their children to live a physically, spiritually, socially, and emotionally healthy life as an adult. Each child is a gift from God; a parent's responsibility is to commit their children to the Lord's will (Exodus 13:2; 1 Samuel 1:28; Psalm 37:5; 127:3; Proverbs 16:3). A child’s training should prepare them to be adults who serve and honor God.
• Preparing a child to love and serve the Lord includes making His Word an integral part of family life, as seen in Deuteronomy 6:6–7: “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” No child-rearing manual is as effective as the Word of God.
• Another important component of parenting is discipline, as expressed in Proverbs 22:15: “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.” Children are naturally reckless. Good parenting that includes proper discipline goes a long way toward helping children develop into wise adults. A loving parent is one who disciplines, much like our Heavenly Father disciplines us because He loves us (Proverbs 3:11).
• The folly of not disciplining is shown in 1 Samuel 3:13. That verse records the Lord’s rebuke of Eli, a priest, because he didn’t discipline his sons for their wicked behavior: “And I declare to him that I am about to punish his house forever, for the iniquity that he knew, because his sons were blaspheming God, and he did not restrain them.”
• At times, even those who are raised correctly can become unwise adults, as 1 Samuel 8:3 shows. Samuel, Eli's successor, was an upright man (1 Samuel 12:1–5), “yet his sons did not walk in his ways but turned aside after gain. They took bribes and perverted justice" (1 Samuel 8:3). The Bible doesn’t record the Lord rebuking Samuel, so we can infer Samuel had properly trained up his sons. This doesn’t negate Proverbs 22:6. Proverbs convey general truths; they aren’t blanket statements about every situation. Ultimately, parents can raise a child in godly ways, yet that child could still grow up to be wicked. The Lord will judge each of us individually (Deuteronomy 24:16).

FROM THE NEW TESTAMENT

• The New Testament also discusses how important it is to discipline children and teach them about the Lord. Ephesians 6:4 advises, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Well-rounded training of children consists of godly instruction, discipline, and patience.
• Colossians 3:20–21 echoes the advice from Ephesians about disciplining a child without breaking the child’s spirit: “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” All discipline should be aimed at the child’s good, not assuaging the parents’ anger. Colossians also stresses correct behavior because it “pleases the Lord,” a motivation that should be encouraged from an early age.
• Timothy is a fine example of the wisdom of Proverbs 22:6. In 2 Timothy 3:14–15, Paul writes to Timothy, “But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.” Timothy had “been acquainted with the sacred writings” as a child, giving him a firm foundation and wisdom.

IMPLICATIONS FOR TODAY

Who is raising your kids? Most parents would say they are. But is that really true? Our hedonistic world is competing with parents to train up children—but not in the right way, not in God’s way. Worldly culture touts worldly values, which are not founded on the truth and goodness of God and will ultimately only lead to harm (1 John 2:15–17). Without proper parenting, kids can drown in a sea of cultural debauchery and deception that will leave them empty (James 1:13–18). Godly parents must equip their children to face such a world and become adults who seek to know and please God. Godly parents, not the latest social influencer, should be a child’s role model. Discipline is part of training a child correctly. Discipline is an act of love (Proverbs 3:11), and often to discipline one’s child requires self-discipline. Discipline is not only about correction, but also about intentional training for growth, which, again, requires self-discipline. We train children not only through direct instruction, but often more fruitfully by setting a positive example and actively showing children the way. This includes a home life filled with God-honoring practices, such as family prayer, Bible reading, and church attendance. If your children don’t learn from you, the culture will be their teachers.

Children need parents who will train them, raising them to be servants of God. Parents need communities who will support them as they seek to raise their children well. Whatever our role as children, parents, or community members, our motivation should be love for the Lord and love for others. We can all rely on the equipping of the Holy Spirit, the guidance of His Word, and the support of one another in raising up the next generation to know, love, and serve God.

UNDERSTAND

• Parents are responsible for actively teaching their children God's Word.
• Effective parenting includes loving discipline that shapes a child’s character and encourages obedience to God.
• A parent is called to train up their child in the way they should go, but the child is responsible for their faith and responding to their parent.

REFLECT

• How have your own experiences with parental guidance influenced your understanding of what it means to train up a child in the way they should go?
• In what specific ways can you incorporate God's Word into daily family life to effectively train children?
• How do you approach discipline with love as your motivation in your parenting style? What challenges do you face in this area? What might help you as you seek to train your child in the way that is most effective for him or her?

ENGAGE

• What cultural influences do you see affecting the way children are trained today? How can parents counteract negative influences?
• How can the lessons from Proverbs 22:6 apply to mentoring or guiding individuals beyond parenting, such as in community or church settings?
• In light of biblical teachings, what does it mean for parents to trust God with the outcomes of their children's training and choices?