The teenage years are a time of increased difficulty but also blessing and opportunity. It is not only possible to survive the teenage years, but to thrive in that time as you intentionally parent and continue building into the discipleship and relationship you have with your child.
Teenagers are a gift from God, not a burden, and the Bible calls parents to guide them with love, discipline, and truth through their formative years. Scripture shows that parenting doesn't stop at childhood but intensifies during adolescence as teens develop values, face challenges, and seek identity. Parents are called to stay engaged—not as friends, but as mentors—providing accountability, guidance, and spiritual leadership grounded in God’s Word. These years are a unique opportunity to build deeper relationships, model godly character, and shape how teens see themselves and the world. With God's help, supportive community, and intentional parenting, families can thrive—not just survive—through the teenage years.
Parenting a teenager can be a time of great struggle for parents. For teens, these years include social pressures from friends and society, a changing body, and a desire for more independence. Spiritually, values are being formed that can have lifelong influence. Parents need much wisdom from God to navigate this season with grace and truth. It's a time to shift from control to connection—offering guidance while building trust while preparing to launch kids into adulthood. Listening becomes just as important as instructing, and prayer must undergird every conversation and decision. Rather than reacting in fear, parents are called to respond in faith, modeling the love, patience, and consistency of Christ. With humility and perseverance, this challenging season can become a powerful time of growth for both teens and parents.
Parenting through the teenage years is a gift as well as a responsibility, and God equips us for every stage in parenting, even when we feel ill-equipped. Parents of teens should remember that they are not alone in raising children. God, through the power of His Spirit, and the wisdom of God's Word are available to strengthen and guide in making decisions and responding to situations. In addition, other Christian friends and family members can help influence your teenager toward godly living and strengthen you as you seek to parent them well.
Parenting a teen is a great opportunity to grow in relationship with them and pass the values you have as a family. As they watch you, they are taking in what it means to be an adult and to be part of a family. As they ask questions, they are growing curious and learning to actively engage their doubts, concerns, and thoughts. It is so important to engage their minds with truth, their hearts with grace, and their lives with consistent love. These years are formative, and the way you listen, guide, and respond can shape how they see God, themselves, and the world. Don’t underestimate the power of steady presence, meaningful conversations, and patient guidance during this pivotal season.
It is also important for raising teenagers to focus on living for God as a family priority. When every family member knows that decisions will be made based on God's Word, then there is a clear, objective standard beyond "dad and mom" to provide the principles needed for how to live. Important to this is staying connected to the local church and Christian community. During these years, teenagers begin looking more to their peers and other people of influence beyond their parents, but spending significant time with other Christian teenagers and godly adults can have a tremendous impact on the behavior and life of your teenager. Hebrews 10:24-25 provides biblical support for this practice: "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."
During the teenage years, it's crucial to remember that your role is not to be your child’s friend but their parent—responsible for both their discipline and their discipleship. Teens naturally test boundaries as they seek greater independence, and while this is a normal part of development, it doesn’t mean they should be left to navigate everything on their own. Rather than stepping back entirely and letting them "figure it out," parents should remain actively engaged, setting clear and loving boundaries in the areas that matter most. These years call for a steady hand, compassionate guidance, and consistent accountability. Your influence, paired with firm but grace-filled direction, helps shape the values they will carry into adulthood.
As a parent of a teenager, it is important to provide accountability for your teen. Many teenage problems occur when parents do not know where their teenager is, who they are with, and what they are doing. If a teenager thinks he or she can "get away with it", they are more likely to attempt wrong behaviors. Simply knowing a parent will be asking about the party, game, or movie they are attending can help provide accountability and dissuade poor decisions. At the same time, a parent’s role during the teen years is not to control every move but to remain a steady, engaged presence that communicates love through accountability. Setting expectations, checking in regularly, and following through with consistent consequences fosters a sense of responsibility and trust. Teens may resist structure, but deep down, they find security in knowing their parents care enough to set boundaries. By staying involved without being overbearing, parents can guide their teenagers through these formative years with wisdom and grace. Ultimately, your presence and intentional oversight can be one of the strongest safeguards against poor choices.
While many other factors are also involved, these principles can help a parent not only survive the teenage years but continue to build a growing relationship with children that leads toward healthy adult living and a growing spiritual relationship for the entire family.