Is the concept of soulmates biblical?

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?

A soulmate is often described as a person with whom one has a deep, intrinsic connection, characterized by mutual understanding, compatibility, and a sense of destined partnership. The Bible does not speak about soulmates, but it has success stories of unlikely couples and passages of Scripture that give us wisdom on the topic. Ruth and Boaz’s unlikely love story proves that two people can be in a beautiful marriage despite circumstances that are not ideal. Proverbs reminds us to look beyond exterior factors in a partner and to trust God in our love lives, and in the Song of Solomon, we are warned to not “stir up or awaken love” too early.

In the New Testament, God paves a way for Joseph and Mary’s relationship to be successful even in the midst of great hardship and complications. In Mark, we are reminded of the sanctity of marriage and how divorce is not to be taken lightly. In Ephesians and Colossians, we are taught how marriage is reflective of Christ’s relationship with the church, and how we should treat our partner with love and respect in a marriage relationship. Marriage is a beautiful gift, and we are to cherish our spouse even when conditions or personalities are not a “perfect fit.”

FROM THE OLD TESTAMENT

• Adam was designed for a relationship with a romantic partner. For many of us, this is the case for us, too (Genesis 2:18).
• Rather than waiting around for a soulmate to appear, we should accept wisdom and guidance from trusted people to find a spouse, as exemplified in Isaac and Rebekah’s love story in Genesis 24.
• Instead of letting our environment or circumstances be an excuse to not pursue a godly person, we should take after Jacob’s example of intentionally for Rachel in Genesis 29.
• Many times, people choose to unite in a marriage even when their circumstances are not ideal. This does not make them any less of a godly match. Ruth and Boaz got married after tragedy struck Ruth’s life, yet they are one of the most memorable examples of a godly marriage recorded in history (Ruth 1-4).
• We must not fall prey to assuming someone is our soulmate just because they are charming or attractive Proverbs 31:30.
• In our journey to discovering a marriage partner, we should trust God to lead us to a godly match as we lean on His wisdom instead of our own (Proverbs 3:5–6).
• We should avoid stirring up or awakening love before we are ready just because we want to find a soulmate right now (Song of Solomon 8:4).

FROM THE NEW TESTAMENT

• Despite difficult circumstances, God will lead a couple into a marriage relationship if it is in His sovereign will, as displayed in the love story between Joseph and Mary in Luke 1 and Matthew 1.
• The marriage relationship is symbolic to Christ’s relationship to His bride, the church (Ephesians 5:22-33). It is meant to be permanent, whether we always feel like we married our soulmate or not.
• No matter who we are married to, we are commanded to treat them with love and respect (Colossians 3:18-19).
• Marriage is a lifelong covenant, and being one flesh in marriage is what makes a person our soulmate (Mark 10:5–9). The argument that we can be married to the “wrong person” is not biblical grounds for divorce.

IMPLICATIONS FOR TODAY

Sometimes, the idea of a soulmate confuses and delays a person from committing to marriage or provides an excuse to get a divorce. Such views on soulmates are unbiblical. Marriage is designed to be a lifelong covenant, and we must not enter into it lightly. Obsessing over someone who will "complete” us or be a "perfect fit" is idolatrous because it puts that person (or idea of a person) on a pedestal only God should be on. He alone can meet our deepest needs. With that being said, marriage is meant to be a joyous and fruitful bond in which spouses are better together than apart. When we search for a marriage partner, we should look for someone who complements us in as many ways as possible, so that the marriage is set up for success from the start. Although finding a life partner may feel scary, we can seek God’s wisdom and trust that He will direct us to a godly husband or wife in His perfect timing (James 1:5; Proverbs 3:5–6).

UNDERSTAND

• The concept of finding a soulmate, implying a perfect match for happiness, is not biblical.
• The Bible emphasizes commitment, love, and mutual respect in marriage.
• Seeking a life partner should involve prayer, guidance, and a focus on compatibility rather than waiting for a soulmate.

REFLECT

• How do you view the concept of a soulmate, and how might that perspective impact your understanding of relationships and marriage?
• How can you apply biblical principles, like those found in the stories of Ruth and Boaz or Joseph and Mary, to your own love life or future marriage?
• How can you cultivate a mindset of commitment and respect in your current relationships, regardless of whether or not you believe in the idea of soulmates?

ENGAGE

• What biblical passages or stories challenge the idea of a soulmate as a perfect fit for everyone, and how do they do so?
• How might the belief in soulmates create unrealistic expectations in relationships, and what are the potential consequences of those expectations?
• How can understanding marriage as a lifelong covenant rather than a search for a perfect partner change the way we approach dating or relationships?