Does the Bible talk about shame and regret?

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?

Shame is the painful feeling of being unworthy or flawed in who you are, while regret is the sorrow you feel over something you did or failed to do. The Bible is filled with examples of the shame and regret of believers. The first example occurs in Genesis 3, with Adam and Eve disobeying God and experiencing shame because of it. Later, we see King David committing adultery and murder (2 Samuel 11–12), Aaron building an idol (Exodus 32), and Jonah running from God’s command (Jonah 1), among many other examples. The New Testament contains similar instances. We learn of Peter’s betrayal of Christ (John 13:37–38; Luke 22:31–34) and Paul’s persecution of the early church (Acts 7:58; 8:3). Even so, in all these cases, God still used these people for His glory, and they remained or became His followers. The Bible teaches that God’s love for His children can overcome any shame and regret. When we confess our transgressions to Him, He graciously forgives us, wiping away self-reproach caused by sin (Romans 8:1).

FROM THE OLD TESTAMENT

• Adam and Eve were the first humans to experience shame and regret when they committed the original sin, realized their own nakedness, and hid from God (Genesis 3:7).
• Even as God pronounced the curses of sin to the first couple, He promised a savior (Genesis 3:15). Jesus is the one who redeems us and rescues us from shame and regret.
• Second Samuel records King David’s adulterous affair with Bathsheba and his murder of her husband Uriah. David felt immense shame and regret about this situation (Psalm 51), but he turned back to the Lord and worshipped Him. God blessed David and Bathsheba with another son, Solomon, showing His power to redeem situations that have brought us shame (2 Samuel 11–12).
• Spiritual growth through spending time with God in prayer and Bible reading enables us to more fully love and trust Him. We know He has removed our sins "as far as the east is from the west" (Psalm 103:12).

FROM THE NEW TESTAMENT

• Freeing ourselves from shame and regret requires humility, confession of sin, and asking God for forgiveness (1 John 1:5–10).
• The apostle Peter denied Jesus three times, just as Jesus said he would (John 13:37–38; Luke 22:31–34). Peter's shame and regret after his third denial is clear when “he went out and wept bitterly" (Luke 22:61–62). Jesus’s forgiveness of Peter is shown in His commissioning Peter to feed His sheep (John 21:15–19).
• Peter experienced what all children of God do—assurance that “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).
• Despite our sins, we know that with God, “all things”—even our shameful actions—work together for the good of His children (Romans 8:28).
• Believers should follow Paul's example by looking ahead, rather than remaining stuck in shame and regret: "Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13–14).

IMPLICATIONS FOR TODAY

Shame can be an effective exhorter but a terrible master. God, in His wisdom, instilled in us a conscience (Romans 2:15). When we stray from God’s moral law, it’s natural to feel shame.

But believers shouldn’t stay mired in shame. Self-reproach can weigh us down, even becoming an excuse for a lack of spiritual growth. Rather than confessing our sins and moving forward in our spiritual life, shame may keep us in the past, preventing us from growing “in the grace and knowledge” of Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18). That attitude shows a subtle distrust in the sufficiency of Christ to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (Romans 10:11; 1 John 1:9). In that sense, shame is self-indulgent, not the proper attitude of a redeemed believer.

What you have done in the past is not as important as what Christ has done on the cross. Focus on Christ, and you can leave the shame and regret of past sins behind. When we confess our transgressions to Him, He graciously forgives us, wiping away self-reproach caused by sin (Romans 8:1).

UNDERSTAND

• Shame and regret are common in Scripture, even among God’s people, but they are not meant to define us.
• God forgives fully when we confess our sins, removing our shame and guilt through Christ.
• Believers are called to move forward in grace and purpose, not remain stuck in the past.

REFLECT

• When have you felt weighed down by shame or regret, and how did that impact you?
• How are you trusting Christ to cleanse you from past sin, instead of carrying guilt He has already forgiven?
• What would it look like for you to move forward in grace instead of staying stuck in the past?

ENGAGE

• How do biblical examples of shame and regret help us better understand God’s mercy and forgiveness?
• In what ways can shame hinder spiritual growth, and how can we support each other in overcoming it?
• How can the church help believers live in the freedom and assurance promised in Romans 8:1?