What does it mean that we should be quick to listen and slow to speak (James 1:19)?

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?

James 1:19 offers advice on how to conduct ourselves when communicating: “let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.” James isn’t the only part of the Bible that offers this guidance. Several Proverbs advise us to guard our speech because of the potential harm our words can cause (Proverbs 10:19; 17:27-28; 18:2). That harm is often the result of angry words, and many of the Proverbs caution against anger (Proverbs 14:29; 15:1; 29:11). David knew the wisdom of guarding our words, as he expresses in some of the Psalms (39:1-2; 141:3). The New Testament also discusses this topic. It shows the impact of the Holy Spirit on how believers interact with others. Believers are to manifest the fruit of the Spirit, which provides the grace we need to listen to others with respect and control what we say (Galatians 5:22–23). The seriousness of this is seen in Jesus’s warning against the consequences of careless words. The Bible shows that unwholesome, angry speech isn’t befitting for the children of God . Believers act wisely when we heed Scripture’s teaching to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.

FROM THE OLD TESTAMENT

• In Psalm 141:1-3, David cries out to the Lord, “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” This plea comes directly after David implores the Lord to hear him. Part of being adopted as God's child is having full access to Him in prayer. If God is willing to listen to us, we should certainly reflect Him by talking less and listening more.
• Proverbs 10:19 presents wise advice about being slow to speak: “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” We should weigh our words wisely, not responding in a heated moment with the first thing that comes to mind or refusing to give others the opportunity to share their thoughts.
• Proverbs 17:27-28 offers similar advice: “Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.” This proverb connects restrained speaking with a “cool spirit,” showing the wisdom of being “slow to speak” (James 1:19).

FROM THE NEW TESTAMENT

• James 1:19, sometimes called the Proverbs of the New Testament, offers wise counsel: “Know this, my beloved brothers: let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” Listening to others and being circumspect with our words goes a long way in preventing unnecessary hurt during tense moments.
• In Matthew 12:36-37 Jesus presents the significance of our words: “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” Jesus had indicated that “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (v. 34). Our words matter because they often indicate the feelings in our heart. An angry heart can lead to angry words, which is why James 1:19 advises restraint.
• Ephesians 4:29 emphasizes the importance of our words as evidence of who we are in Christ: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Our words matter. As children of God, our speech should be God-honoring.

IMPLICATIONS FOR TODAY

Seems like at least once a month, a Tik Tok video of someone venting his or her rage against a politician or celebrity goes viral. A sad fact of our world today is that what people feel, they share. But is that wise? According to the Bible, No. Christians should be “slow to anger,” and even if we do become angry, we should be “slow to speak”---which rules out rants on Tik Tok or any other social media platform). Beyond social media, this applies to face-to-face communication, too.

Part of loving our neighbors is listening to them with respect. This means actually considering what they say instead of counting the seconds until they stop talking and we can start. The way we communicate is part of our witness for Christ because it reveals something about our character (Matthew 12:34). When we listen to others’ concerns, we can better show them that Christ is the answer to every problem. That doesn’t mean we must always agree with what others are saying; Psalm 1 warns against wicked counsel, and Ephesians advises us to "speak the truth with [our] neighbor" (4:25). But believers act wisely when we heed Scripture’s teaching to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.

UNDERSTAND

• Believers should be known for being quick to listen and slow to speak especially when angry.
• Being quick to listen means we listen to others and to the Lord.
• Being slow to speak means we wait on the Lord and respond thoughtfully rather than impulsively.

REFLECT

• How do you typically respond when faced with conflict—do you listen well, or do you feel the need to speak quickly?
• How can you invite the Holy Spirit to help you respond with grace and patience during tense conversations?
• How might guarding your words and listening more impact your relationships and your witness for Christ?

ENGAGE

• How can we cultivate a culture of listening to one another with respect and patience?
• How does our communication reflect our faith in God and His character?
• How can we apply James 1:19 to address common communication challenges today?