How can I overcome rejection?

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?

Rejection can hurt us deeply, but it does not get to define us. As God’s children (John 1:12-13), we can look back at our identity in Christ when we face rejection, remembering that God "chose us in him before the foundation of the world" and "predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ,” and has even "blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places" (Ephesians 1:4-10; Ephesians 1:3). Oftentimes, rejection can feel like a personal insult, but considering the cause puts it in perspective. For instance, could it be because we are believers (John 15:18-19)? If so, we can pray for our offenders that they would come to believe in Jesus (John 14:6; John 3:16-18). We can also take great comfort in knowing that nothing will ever separate us from God's love (Romans 8:31-39). Sometimes rejection can help us recognize where our life needs to change, in which case we can rely on God to be with us through our growth process (Philippians 1:6; 2:12-13). Ultimately, because we have a loving Heavenly Father, we know that He understands and cares about our situation, and despite the awful pain we may be feeling, we can hope in the truth that He can work even the most painful situations together for good, just like He did in the life of Joseph and so many others (Romans 8:28-29; Genesis 37:18-25, 39:11-20, 45:4-8, 50:20).

FROM THE OLD TESTAMENT

• Jacob’s son, Joseph, knew all too well the reality of rejection. Although he was an innocent boy, his brothers hated him so much that they plotted to kill him (Genesis 37:18-20). Although he survived, he spent his youth being a stranger in a foreign land, Egypt (Genesis 37:39-41), in which he was cast into prison for a crime he didn’t commit (Genesis 39:11-20). Yet because God was with Joseph, his rejection did not hold him back from fulfilling God’s purposes. Years later, after Joseph had been put in a place of royalty and power, He met his brothers with mercy and reconciliation instead of rejection, and through God preserved his family, as well as others, from death (Genesis 45:4-8; Genesis 50:20).

FROM THE NEW TESTAMENT

• When we belong to Christ, we are children of God (John 1:12-13), and He loves and fully accepts us. After we've shared our hurt with our Father, we can seek His comfort; this comes through prayer and through the truth of God's Word.
• We need not be offended when people reject us because of Christ. Instead, we can ask for God's heart for such people and pray that they will come to know Him. Jesus is the only Savior (John 14:6), if people reject Him, they remain condemned (John 3:16-18). With God's perspective, the pain of rejection shifts from personal affront to sadness at the offender’s lost state and desire for them to come to know Christ.
• Sometimes we are rejected because we are Christians. Jesus told His followers, "If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you" (John 15:18-19).
• At other times, rejection is caused by a relationship or job or other circumstance not being a good fit. It may take us aback, but we can "know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers" (Romans 8:28-29).
• We can take comfort in God’s promises, knowing that despite what the world says, we are loved by our Heavenly Father (Romans 8:31-39). He’s loved us in the past, in the present, and will forevermore in eternity.
• Rejection can weigh us down, but refocusing our attention on the amazing promises and blessings from God gives us hope (Ephesians 1:3).
• Remembering our identity in Christ can remove some of the sting of human rejection. (Ephesians 1:4-10). Knowing that God—the Creator of the Universe and the Savior of mankind—chose us to be His adopted child should bring confidence and security despite the earthly rejection we face.
• While rejection should not cause us to question our fundamental worth, it is okay for rejection to prompt self-reflection and even Christ-centered change. If God reveals something in us that needs to change, it is not to shame us, but to grow us in Christ and complete His good work (Philippians 1:6; 2:12-13).

IMPLICATIONS FOR TODAY

Rejection is a common, normal experience. It happens in relationships, in business ventures, and in other pursuits. Even those who know Jesus as Savior and know that their identity is in Christ rather than the opinions of others are not immune to the hurt of rejection. As painful as rejection can be, we can heal from it with God, who is the Healer. An important step is to acknowledge our emotions and share our hurt with God (Matthew 11:28-30). Pretending that rejection did not occur or that it doesn't hurt will not heal us. Besides, God already knows. In fact, He understands our feelings more deeply than we can imagine. All we have to do is look at how many rejected Jesus during His time on earth or look at how many still reject God's offer of love and grace. God can certainly empathize with us. We will continue to deal with rejection throughout our lives, but it shouldn’t define us or hinder us from fulfilling the good works God has prepared for us (Ephesians 2:10; Philippians 1:6). In fact, rejection can be an opportunity to experience God's comfort and even be reminded of His steadfast, unfaultering, and unconditional love for us (Romans 8). God's plans for our lives do not fail because of rejection. Amazingly, by God’s grace—-rejection can be an opportunity for our spiritual growth (James 1:2-5; Romans 5:3-5).

UNDERSTAND

• Focusing on our identity as children of God can soothe the hurt of rejection.
• Rejection can sometimes be an opportunity for spiritual growth.
• God’s plans for us will not be hindered by others’ rejection of us.

REFLECT

• How do you handle rejection?
• Have you ever experienced spiritual growth during a time of trial/rejection? If so, what changed?
• Which spiritual truths or practices sustain you and strengthen your faith when you face rejection?

ENGAGE

• Where do those in the world find their worth, and how does that contrast with where believers find their worth?
• How can believers communicate God’s love and hope to those experiencing rejection?
• In conversations about rejection, how can you point to Christ’s sacrifice to bring comfort and introduce others to the gospel?