What should a Christian do if he or she is married to an unbeliever?

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?

The Bible teaches that marriage unites two people as one flesh (Genesis 2:24), ideally both believers (Deuteronomy 7:3-4; 2 Corinthians 6:14), but it also advises Christians married to unbelievers to stay committed if the unbelieving spouse agrees to remain in the marriage (1 Corinthians 7:12-14). While an unbeliever may not share the same view of marriage or values, a believing spouse can demonstrate God’s love through respectful conduct and selfless care. Divorce is discouraged unless the unbelieving spouse chooses to leave or in cases of sexual immorality (Matthew 5:32; 1 Corinthians 7:15). Christians in such marriages should remain rooted in their faith through prayer, fellowship, and sharing the gospel, trusting God to work in their spouse’s heart.

FROM THE OLD TESTAMENT

• A God-honoring marriage is a union between a man and a woman in which they become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). They commit to spending their lives together and do not break that commitment.
• Mosaic Law prohibited the Israelites from intermarrying with other cultures because it might tempt them to turn away from the true God and worship other gods (Deuteronomy 7:3–4).

FROM THE NEW TESTAMENT

• The Bible counsels Christians to marry other Christians. When writing to the church in Corinth, the apostle Paul advised them, "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers" (2 Corinthians 6:14).
• A husband is to love his wife as himself and a wife is to respect and submit to her husband (Ephesians 5:22–33). An unbeliever does not have the same view of marriage and does not see his or her role in the same way. Still, a believing spouse can model what a godly relationship is supposed to be.
• Many spouses in the early church were already married to unbelievers when they became Christians. Paul instructed them, "To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband" (1 Corinthians 7:12-14). The advice given was to remain married as long as the unbeliever is willing and to continue reflecting Jesus to the unbelieving spouse.
• Paul also states in 1 Corinthians 7:15 that if an unbelieving spouse chooses to divorce the believing spouse, they can consent to letting them go. However, Paul strongly encourages Christians to remain committed to their unbelieving spouse.
• God does not condone divorce, though He does allow it when one spouse has committed sexual immorality (Matthew 5:32).
• First Peter 3:1 instructs, "Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct." God calls spouses to reflect Christ in their conduct.

IMPLICATIONS FOR TODAY

Close relationships, like marriages, between believers and unbelievers cause difficulties. When one side of a relationship makes decisions based on God's truth, and the other side remains dead in sin, many challenges arise. Being in such a relationship can also feel like an extra hurdle in the spiritual growth process; it can be difficult to stay strong and encouraged in Christ when the ones you are close with disregard Him. So what should you do if you are married to an unbeliever?

If you are a Christian married to an unbeliever, continue to trust God with your marriage and in your own faith walk. Whether you became a believer after getting married or chose to marry knowing you would be unequally yoked, you can still honor God in your marriage. First, by living out God's expectations for a spouse within a marriage and second, by sharing the love of Christ with your spouse.

Besides being a God-honoring spouse, you should also be a witness of Christ's love to your husband or wife. You can share your testimony with them, pray for them, and be an example of the transformative power of Christ in your heart. Also, prioritize teaching your children about God. Ultimately, you are not responsible for the salvation of your spouse. It is up to him or her to decide to follow Christ. However, you are in a unique position to make a significant impact.

Christians who are married to unbelievers should be encouraged that God can equip them to remain faithful in their marriage and use them to glorify Himself in the eyes of their spouse. All Christians should be engaged in regular times of fellowship with God and with other believers (John 15; Hebrews 10:24–25). Christians in an unequally-yoked marriage must have regular times of encouragement in Christ through Bible study, prayer, regular church attendance, and habitual fellowship with other believers. Others in the family of Christ can help you stay strong in your walk with God, encourage you when things are difficult, join with you in prayer for your spouse, and even be witnesses to your spouse of the gospel and the truth and love of God.

UNDERSTAND

• Christians should stay committed to their unbelieving spouse, showing Christ through their actions.
• Divorce is discouraged except if the unbelieving spouse leaves or there is sexual immorality.
• Believers must remain strong in faith through prayer, fellowship, and trusting God to work in their spouse’s heart.

REFLECT

• How are you demonstrating Christ’s love and grace to your spouse in everyday actions and words?
• How can you nurture your own faith while navigating the challenges of being married to an unbeliever?
• How do you balance honoring your marriage vows with the spiritual differences between you and your spouse?

ENGAGE

• How can a believing spouse effectively model a Christlike marriage when their partner does not share the same faith?
• What practical steps can believers take to maintain spiritual strength and community support while married to an unbeliever?
• How might the presence of faith in one spouse influence the spiritual atmosphere of the entire family, including children?