What grounds for divorce does the Bible provide?

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?

The Bible teaches that divorce was not part of God’s original design for marriage, which was meant to be a permanent, faithful union reflecting His love (Genesis 2:24). Jesus acknowledged divorce was permitted due to hard hearts but only for sexual immorality and abandonment (Matthew 19:3-9). Paul adds that if an unbelieving spouse abandons a believing partner, divorce is permissible, but believers should seek reconciliation whenever possible (1 Corinthians 7:10-16). Though divorce is not God’s ideal, the Bible provides boundaries to protect marriage and encourages faithfulness and forgiveness. Ultimately, marriage reflects Christ’s relationship with the church, calling couples to pursue peace, holiness, and restoration even amid challenges (Ephesians 5:32).

FROM THE OLD TESTAMENT

• When God first created the marriage relationship, divorce was not part of His plan (Genesis 2:24; see Matthew 19:4-6).
• Marriage was to be a permanent illustration of God's love and devotion to Israel. If a man was cruel or abusive to his wife, he was not reflecting the kind, forgiving spirit of God. A man who divorced his wife under such circumstances was not to marry again; God was faithful to the "wife of His youth" despite Israel's spiritual adultery (Malachi 2:14), and a man who couldn't love his wife as God loved Israel was not worthy of getting a new wife. As Malachi 2:16 (NIV) says, "The man who hates and divorces his wife…does violence to the one he should protect."

FROM THE NEW TESTAMENT

• Fallen man, as he often does, defiled God's intent for His creation. When the Pharisees asked Jesus if a man could divorce his wife at will, Jesus responded: He answered, "Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19:4-6)
• When asked about grounds for divorce in the time of Moses, Jesus said, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery" (Matthew 19:8-9).
• Matthew 5:32 states the same grounds for divorce: “’But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.’”
• Marriage is an illustration of God's relationship with the church (Ephesians 5:32). That relationship is supposed to be faithful and permanent. Divorce and remarriage is not appropriate for personal difficulties. Although it is certainly not ideal, separation with the goal of reconciliation is allowed.
• First Corinthians 7:10-16 describes further grounds for divorce for believers. If one spouse is a believer but the other is not, Paul encourages the believing spouse to stay in the marriage. The godly influence of the Christian spouse may influence the unbelieving spouse and bring peace and blessing to the family. But if the unbelieving spouse leaves, the Christian is required to let him go. In modern times, this means that if the unbelieving spouse files for divorce, the Christian must sign the paperwork.

IMPLICATIONS FOR TODAY

The grounds for divorce given in the Bible sound constricting to modern ears. The teachings on divorce address the issues of the day, which were very different from modern times. However, God puts parameters on the marriage relationship to protect it. Even though divorce is not God’s ideal, He still permits it in specific cases. The Bible describes the biblical grounds for divorce as sexual immorality and abandonment. This can be very hard to swallow for those who feel they are trapped in a loveless marriage. But our relationship with God is to be above our relationship with others. Our personal and corporate commandment is love God and love others. We can’t love others any more than what we can to draw them to God. Sometimes we need a break, and sometimes a partner can completely destroy any chance we have to reach them. But through any situation, God can lead us through a way in which we will not sin—which is faithfulness to Him ().

UNDERSTAND

• Divorce was never God’s original plan; marriage is meant to be lifelong.
• The Bible allows divorce only for sexual immorality or abandonment by an unbelieving spouse.
• Marriage reflects Christ’s faithfulness, calling couples to forgiveness, reconciliation, and peace.

REFLECT

• How do you personally reconcile the call to faithfulness in marriage with the realities of pain or betrayal?
• How can you pursue forgiveness and reconciliation in difficult relationships before considering separation?
• How does understanding marriage as a reflection of Christ’s relationship with the church shape your view on divorce and commitment?

ENGAGE

• What challenges do we face today in upholding the biblical standards for marriage and divorce, and how can the church support couples in these struggles?
• How do we discern God’s guidance between pursuing reconciliation and recognizing when separation is necessary?
• How can a community of believers help couples reflect Christ’s faithfulness during trials in marriage?