How can a believer find comfort after the death of a parent?

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?

The Bible teaches that there is a time for every life event, even death, grief, and mourning (Ecclesiastes 3:1–11). As we allow ourselves the emotional space to process the loss of a loved one, we can take great comfort in knowing that our Heavenly Father is near to us (Psalm 34:18), His nature is to be a Healer and a Comforter (Psalm 147:3; 2 Corinthians 1:3–4), and we can rest in Jesus as He carries our burdens with us (Matthew 11:28-30). Grieving is such a natural part of life that even Jesus wept at the loss of His dear friend (John 11:35). Understandably, we cannot go through this season alone. We should pray to our Heavenly Father (1 Thessalonians 5:17) and lean on other believers for support and comfort (Galatians 6:2). Additionally, immersing ourselves in God’s Word can fill our life with truth (John 17:17) and comfort (Psalm 23:4). If our parent was a believer, we can experience great joy even amid our pain in knowing salvation is assured and that we will see him or her again (John 11:25). Lastly, we may experience some peace knowing one day God will wipe all our tears away and that the painful parts of this life will cease to exist—-joy, not pain, awaits us in our future eternity (Revelation 21:4).

FROM THE OLD TESTAMENT

• Even as we are brokenhearted, we can know that our Heavenly Father is near to us and will save us despite our crushed spirit (Psalm 34:18).
• God is a Healer. He “heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3). Instead of trying to heal our wounds by ourselves, we should express to God our pain and run to Him for comfort, peace, and ultimately, healing.
• Ecclesiastes 3:1–11 makes it clear that there are different seasons in life, including a season of weeping and mourning (Ecclesiastes 3:4). We can experience comfort knowing that although we are in the midst of a painful season, we have our Heavenly Father right beside us as well as His family (the church).

FROM THE NEW TESTAMENT

• While there is a time for mourning there is also a time for rejoicing. If the parent was a believer, we have hope that we will see him or her again in Heaven. We know that Christ has overcome death and by putting our faith in Him, we also can overcome it (John 11:25). We can be at peace knowing that our parents are no longer suffering, but are in the presence of God.
• Grieving is normal and an important part of the healing process. Throughout the Bible there are many examples of people mourning the loss of a loved one. In fact, Jesus wept when His friend Lazarus died (John 11:35).
• Being in the Scriptures can bring immense comfort during such a painful loss since they are breathed out by God (2 Timothy 3:16) and designed to speak truth into our life: "Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth” (John 17:17).
• If we are unsure of our parent's salvation, the loss can be much harder to accept, but we can still find comfort in God. As our heavenly Father, He can comfort us in a way no one else can (2 Corinthians 1:3–4).
• Galatians 6:2 says: “Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” We should be connected to a Christ-centered local church in which fellow believers can support us, grieve with us, and encourage us during this season of loss and pain.
• When grieve the loss of a parent, we do as 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says: “pray without ceasing.” Communicating with our Heavenly Father can give us a special type of comfort only He can provide.
• We can have hope knowing that the pain of our loss will only be temporary. One day, God "will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away" (Revelation 21:4).

IMPLICATIONS FOR TODAY

The death of a parent is heartbreaking. Whether expected or not, it can leave us feeling lonely and lost. It is hard to know what to do when we are accustomed to turning to our parents for comfort and advice. It is also painful to lose a parent that we had a painful, unresolved history with or whose salvation we were unsure of. In such times, we must seek God, our ultimate comforter. We can do this through turning to His people, the body of Christ (Romans 12:4-9) and praying to Him “without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). We can also pursue the comfort of God through studying and applying the promises found in His Word to our life; as Psalm 119:50 says: “This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life.”

We may particularly take comfort in the book of Job, which largely covers themes of grief, loss, and learning to trust God amidst trials. We cannot go through this painful time alone. We must not suppress our grief, either. God is here for us, right here, right now: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).

UNDERSTAND

• Continual prayer to God, the ultimate Comforter, can soothe us when grieving the loss of a parent.
• Getting support from our church family can also help us deal with the grief caused by the loss of a parent.
• Becoming immersed in God’s word can provide consolation during times of loss and grief.

REFLECT

• If you’ve ever lost a parent or other loved one, what did you do to manage your grief?
• What are some Bible passages that help you deal with grief?
• How do you console a fellow believer who lost an unsaved parent?

ENGAGE

• How can the church best support congregants when they lose a parent or other loved one?
• How does believers’ grief differ from how the wider culture grieves after death?
• How can times of grief be used to share the gospel?