What does the Bible teach about caring for older parents?

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?

As believers, we are called to take care of those in our family, including our aging parents. As taxing or difficult as this can be, we are not alone—we can reach out to the family of God (the church) for help. As we strive to honor our parents through bearing their burdens, we can and should reach out to the Lord for wisdom, especially if we are at a loss for what our next step in caretaking should be: “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” We should not let sinful actions or even a busy, hectic life keep us from loving and serving others. Instead, we should live in purity, caring for those in our family who are needing our help.

FROM THE OLD TESTAMENT

• The Old Testament commands honoring and caring for parents as a core part of God's law (Exodus 20:12).
• Neglecting or disrespecting parents was treated as a serious offense with moral and communal consequences (Deuteronomy 27:16).
• Caring for aging parents reflects God’s design for family responsibility and covenantal love (Proverbs 23:22)

FROM THE NEW TESTAMENT

• Some older parents are more difficult than others—either emotionally or in their physical needs. It is appropriate to set boundaries on caregiving for older parents, but it is wrong to neglect their actual needs. Galatians 6:2–5 says, "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load." We can reach out to the body of Christ to help us as we care for older parents.
• One of the Ten Commandments God gave Israel is: "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you." Ephesians 6:2–3 restates this commandment and calls attention to the attached positive consequence of honoring our parents: "that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land" (Ephesians 6:3).
• In 1 Timothy 5:3–4 Christians whose family members were in need were expected to meet those needs: "Honor widows who are truly widows. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God." Later in verse 8, it is communicated that a person's faith is tied to their care for those in their household: "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."
• While some of us who care for older parents are equipped with helpful resources and wise advice, we should also seek wisdom from God through prayer (James 1:5). It is ultimately God who will equip us to care for our older parents and walk alongside us as we do.
• One of the first actions of the early church was to arrange for the care of those in need. We too, should care for those in need—including elderly parents: "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world” (James 1:27).

IMPLICATIONS FOR TODAY

There is no question that Christians are to honor their parents and to care for them. Sometimes caring for older parents can seem like a burden. But in truth, it is a privilege. In caring for older parents we can return the gift of their care for us as children. Even if our parents did not care for us well, caring for them is an opportunity to demonstrate God's unmerited love and grace. Caring for older parents entails more than just providing financial support—it involves giving our time, attention, and respect to meet their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Perhaps we can help by assisting with daily tasks like cooking, cleaning, or transportation to medical appointments, ensuring they feel safe and valued. Listening patiently to their stories and wisdom honors their life experience and nurtures their emotional well-being. Spiritually, praying with them and encouraging their faith strengthens their connection with God as they age. Caring for older parents also means advocating for their needs and making decisions in their best interest when they cannot do so themselves. By doing these things, we not only fulfill God’s command to honor our parents but also reflect His love and grace in tangible ways within our families and communities. Caring for older parents is something God calls us to and is a way to serve and glorify Him.

UNDERSTAND

• Honoring and caring for parents is a clear biblical command with spiritual importance.
• Honoring and caring for our parents has a promise of blessing and long life.
• Christian caregiving involves relying on God’s wisdom and the support of the church community, recognizing the challenges involved, setting appropriate boundaries without neglect, and viewing this responsibility as a privilege to reflect God’s love and grace.

REFLECT

• How do you understand what it means to actively honor and care for your aging parents beyond just meeting their basic needs?
• How do you rely on God’s wisdom and the support of your church community when caring for your parents?
• Are there any attitudes or busyness in your life that keep you from fully embracing the privilege of caring for your parents?

ENGAGE

• What challenges come with caring for older parents, and how can we get support as we seek to honor God by caring for them?
• How can we as a church better support members who are caring for aging parents?
• What boundaries are healthy to set in caregiving without neglecting the real needs of our parents?