What does the Bible teach about self-control?

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?

Self-control is the act of either purposely limiting how much of something one does or preventing oneself from doing something one should not. Scripture teaches that all believers are to have such self-control (Titus 2:12). Unlike unbelievers, who indulge in the sinfulness of the flesh (1 Peter 4:3), believers are to be circumspect. They are to have control over their bodies so as not to engage in sin such as illicit sexual behavior (1 Thessalonians 4:3–5). They are to limit what they say (James 1:26), knowing that God will hold them accountable for every inappropriate, idle word (Matthew 12:36). However, self-control is more than just “not sinning” but also in limiting one’s intake of something that is not sinful. For example, while eating is good, a believer must not be a glutton (Philippians 3:19), eating far more than is necessary. Likewise, drinking can be good, but one must never become drunk (Ephesians 5:18). While everyone can muster some self-control for a time, true, righteous, and lasting self-control is available only to believers. This is because they have the Holy Spirit living in them, and it is He who produces the fruit of self-control in their life (Galatians 5:23).

FROM THE OLD TESTAMENT

• A fool in the Old Testament is characterized as someone with a lack of restraint. For example, Proverbs 25:28 says, “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” A city is easily conquered when its walls are down, and a fool has no self-control, allowing all kinds of destructive habits into his or her life.
• Gluttony and drunkenness are common examples in Scripture because they are areas where people tend to go too far. Notice how Proverbs 23:20–21 warns that such a lack of self-control leads to poverty: “Be not among drunkards or among gluttonous eaters of meat, for the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty, and slumber will clothe them with rags.”
• Likewise, speech is to be controlled. Contrasting the one who speaks without discernment with the wise man, Proverbs 10:19 says, “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” When someone speaks without self-control, sin is close at hand. Anything and everything will come out of their mouth.

FROM THE NEW TESTAMENT

• All believers are commanded to have self-control (Titus 2:12; 1 Peter 5:8). Having self-control means actively limiting what is good or completely avoiding what is bad. In short, a believer’s life is not to look like an unbeliever’s life! Paul told the Ephesians that “[unbelievers] have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. But that is not the way you learned Christ!” (Ephesians 4:19). Elsewhere, also speaking about how believers are to no longer live like they were when they were unbelievers, Peter said, “For the time that is past suffices for doing what the Gentiles want to do, living in sensuality, passions, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and lawless idolatry” (1 Peter 4:3). Unbelievers often sin and live without restraint. Believers, however, are to be marked by their restraint (1 Peter 4:4).
• Such restraint certainly involves avoiding all illicit sexual behavior (1 Thessalonians 4:3–5) or any other sins. It means that believers are to watch what they say, as “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless” (James 1:26), knowing that God is holding them accountable for everything they say (Matthew 12:36).
• However, restraint is not limited to that which is sinful. The believer is to exercise self-control even with the good things God has given, such as food and drink. Believers are not to be gluttons (Philippians 3:19). Food is good, but eating too much food is a lack of self-control. Likewise, Scripture never prohibits drinking alcohol, making it good. However, it does set firm limits: one must not become drunk (Ephesians 5:18).
• The reason that unbelievers tend to have a lack of self-control even when trying, and the fact that believers are capable of self-control, even in difficult areas such as eating, stems from the fact that they have the Holy Spirit living within them (Romans 8:9). Paul listed self-control as one of the evidences of the fruit He is producing in the lives of believers: “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires” (Galatians 5:22–24). Notice, however, that though the Spirit produces the fruit, the believer is still to be actively crucifying their desires—putting them to death.

IMPLICATIONS FOR TODAY

The Christian life is a life of exhibiting self-control. We are to express it through the denial of sinful pleasures, giving ourselves limits, and making sure we don't overindulge in something, even that which is good. Self-control is often difficult because we are at war within ourselves. Our fleshly desires are dead set against our desires to glorify God (Romans 7:15–25). And if we are being honest with ourselves, we like to lose control now and then and “let loose.”

Jesus, however, modeled a life of obedience by never pursuing His will apart from what the Father willed (John 6:38), obeying Him even to death (Philippians 2:8). As His followers, we are to do likewise. Obeying like Jesus may sound unfair because He is the Son of God and we are not! However, when Jesus added on a human nature (Philippians 2:6–7), He became truly human. He understands our temptations and weaknesses because He’s also felt them, though without sinning (Hebrews 4:15). Thus, we can look to Him both as the example of living a self-controlled life and as one who can help us to find our way through.

Self-control is not easy. If it were, we wouldn’t need the Spirit’s help to live faithfully. Start showing self-control today by thinking about the areas in your life where you either indulge in sin or overindulge in something good, and bring that to God. Ask Him to help you follow Jesus’ example of doing what He desires. It's worth it.

UNDERSTAND

• Self-control is a defining mark of believers.
• Self-control is actively restraining sinful behavior and avoid excess even in good things
• True, lasting self-control comes from the Holy Spirit while actively fighting sin and disciplining desires in obedience to God.

REFLECT

• In what areas of your life do you notice yourself most often giving in to impulse rather than practicing Spirit-led self-control?
• How does understanding self-control as a Spirit-produced fruit rather than mere willpower challenge or encourage you?
• What does it look like for you to actively “crucify the flesh”?

ENGAGE

• How do we distinguish between healthy enjoyment of God’s gifts and a lack of self-control?
• Why is it important that self-control is described as a fruit of the Spirit rather than merely a human discipline?
• What role should community play in helping believers grow in self-control?