Why did God allow polygamy in the Bible?

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?

The Bible shows that God ordained marriage to be between one man and one woman. This was established at creation when God made one woman as “a helper” for Adam. God also warned Israel that their kings would take more than one wife to the detriment of their relationship with Him, and this tragically occurred with Solomon. Scripture does contain many examples of people God chose being polygamous, such as Jacob, David, and Solomon. Some speculate that in the patriarchal society of the time, polygamy would have protected women, but the Bible doesn’t speak to that as a reason. The New Testament also teaches the one-woman-one-man ideal of marriage. In a conversation with the Jewish leaders, Jesus reaffirms God’s original intention for marriage as between one man and one woman. Additionally, at least in one circumstance–divorce–Jesus notes that God patiently tolerated the Israelites’ sin because of their hard hearts but that divorce was not what God intended for marriage; it’s conceivable that this could be the case with polygamy. Paul makes it clear that elders in the church must be “the husband of one wife”, showing that the exemplary scenario is monogamy, not polygamy.

FROM THE OLD TESTAMENT

• Genesis 2:18 relates the account of God creating Eve: “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’” God’s intent for marriage was between one man and one (”a helper”) woman. Surely if God intended for marriages to be polygamous, he would have created more than one woman for Adam.
• In Deuteronomy 17:17, God forbids Israel’s kings from “acquir[ing] many wives for himself, lest his heart turn away.” Solomon ignored that and the outcome was just as God said it would be (1 Kings 11:3).

FROM THE NEW TESTAMENT

• Jesus iterated what God had ordained for marriage: “He answered, ‘Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?’” (Matthew 19:4-5).
• God temporarily tolerating what we do is not the same as God approving of it. Jesus makes this point when the Jewish religious leaders asked Him why Moses permitted divorce: “He said to them, ‘Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery’” (Matthew 19:8-9). It is plausible that God temporarily permitted polygamy because of the cultural conditions of the time but He did not ordain it as the ideal for marriage.
• Paul wrote to Timothy about the qualifications for church overseers. Among the qualifications are that he be “the husband of one wife” (1 Timothy 3:2). Church elders were to be exemplary believers, so specifying “one wife” points to that as the ideal.

IMPLICATIONS FOR TODAY

More isn’t always better. Regularly eat more food, and you’ll gain weight. Over-exercising leads to injury. Work too much, and you’ll be stressed. More definitely isn’t better when it comes to marriage. God ordained marriage to be between one man and one woman for one lifetime. Adding other spouses wasn’t part of the plan. When we corrupt God’s plan, pain and suffering results. The story of Jacob, Leah, and Rachel exemplifies the jealousy and strife of polygamous relationships.

Today’s society dislikes boundaries, including boundaries around marriage. A Gallup survey a few years ago showed that 20% of Americans think polygamy is acceptable, a fourfold increase within fifteen years. But God’s standard doesn’t change even though society’s does. As Jesus noted, “from the beginning” God set the standard for marriage with one man and one woman . Believers should never try to “improve” on what God has created perfectly.

UNDERSTAND

• God designed marriage to be between one man and one woman from the beginning.
• The Bible records but does not approve polygamy; it was tolerated, not ordained.
• The New Testament affirms monogamy as God’s intended standard for marriage.

REFLECT

• How does understanding God’s original design for marriage shape the way you view relationships today?
• How have you seen the challenges that come from deviating from God’s plan for marriage?
• How do you balance cultural pressures with biblical standards in your own beliefs about marriage?

ENGAGE

• How do the examples of polygamy in the Bible reveal the difference between God’s tolerance and His ideal?
• How can we apply the biblical teaching on monogamy in a society that increasingly questions traditional marriage?
• How does recognizing God’s patience with human brokenness influence the way we approach difficult issues like distortions of marriage?