Does the Bible say anything about flattery?

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?

Flattery is the giving of excessive, insincere praise, especially that which is given in order to further one's personal interests. The Bible strongly condemns flattery. Flattery is connected with those seeking to deceive, lie, and preserve personal agendas. It is associated with seductresses and false teachers. When false teachers flatter their followers, they build up their followers' self-importance. This is in opposition to the message that Jesus taught: that we must die to ourselves to serve God and others. We must daily choose to put God above everything else in our lives. We shall not allow anyone control over our perception of Christ's message through stroking our egos. Instead of flattery, we should speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). We should follow Paul’s example when he taught the church to never use flattery to gain followers for Christ, saying, "For we never came with words of flattery, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed—God is witness" (1 Thessalonians 2:5). We are called to follow Christ and speak the truth with other people's benefit in mind.

FROM THE OLD TESTAMENT

• Flattery is often mentioned in the Bible, especially in the book of Proverbs. Proverbs 6:24 warns of the "flattery of the tongue of a strange woman" ([KJV] see also Proverbs 7:5, 21), translated as "the smooth tongue of the adulteress" in the ESV.
• Proverbs also says that a person who is wise learns to distinguish between lying and flattering lips and sincere compliments. Truth is not the flatterer's main concern, rather it is what they can receive from their words (Psalm 5:9).
• Daniel 11 describes a king later in history who will come to power by flattery. This king “shall seduce with flattery those who violate the covenant, but the people who know their God shall stand firm and take action” (Daniel 11:32). Later in Daniel 11:36, it describes the abominations of what he will do: “And the king shall do as he wills. He shall exalt himself and magnify himself above every god, and shall speak astonishing things against the God of gods. He shall prosper till the indignation is accomplished; for what is decreed shall be done.”

FROM THE NEW TESTAMENT

• Jesus never flattered His followers and always told people what they needed to hear (Mark 10:21–22; Luke 9:61–62).
• Jesus was able to preach His message without flattery because His main focus was doing His Father's will (John 8:29). There is a vast difference between flattery and speaking the truth in love. Jesus delivered tough messages in love because He knew that His people needed to hear them.
• Romans 16:18 warns about those who flatter others: “For such persons do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive.”
• False teachers are also known to use flattery to finagle money from Christians and those who want to please Christ (2 Peter 2:3; Romans 16:18). With wisdom and discernment, we can learn when false teachers are speaking for their own gain.
• Hebrews 10:24–25 calls us to encourage one another and to consider how we can stir one another up to love and good works.
• Romans 15:2 and 1 Thessalonians 5:11 also call us to encourage and do what is good for the other person, building them up.

IMPLICATIONS FOR TODAY

Flattery, often driven by self-interest, can subtly infiltrate our relationships, both in and outside of the church. The Bible calls us to be vigilant against it, recognizing that flattery is not rooted in love but in personal agendas. When we flatter others, our words may feel uplifting, but they are ultimately self-serving, aiming to gain favor or recognition. As Christians, we are called to speak the truth in love. Our encouragement must build up and benefit others, rather than seek our own gain. To avoid falling into the trap of flattery, we must reflect on our motivations, allow the Holy Spirit to expose any sin there, and ensure that our words genuinely honor and serve God’s purposes, not our own. When truth is spoken in love in our relationships, we can build each other up and work toward living out our faith in a Christ-centered community that grows in faith and understanding.

UNDERSTAND

• Flattery is a sin.
• Flattery is associated with deception and self-serving aims.
• We are called to speak the truth in love and speak in a way that is good for the hearer.

REFLECT

• How can you ensure that your compliments and encouragements toward others are sincere and for their benefit, rather than your own?
• When have you been confronted for using flattery or being insincere, and how did you respond?
• How can you ensure you are not being tricked by flattery?

ENGAGE

• Flattery is not complimenting. The difference between flattery and a compliment is the motivation behind the words. A person who compliments is one who says something to build up another person. Compliments are to the benefit of the receiver. A person who flatters seeks to gain approval or recognition for their words. Flattery is self-serving.
• We are to be wary of teachers who use flattery to gain followers. When Christ's message is watered down to little more than a self-improvement program, we are at risk of being deceived. Messages that are self-focused, such as sermons with cheery illustrations that make the congregation feel good about themselves, can gain followers, but they are empty without focusing on Christ. This is a form of flattery that places reaching personal greatness over the message of Christ.
• How can flattery in the church or among leaders negatively impact the growth of the body of Christ?