Should Christians use preferred pronouns?

from the old testament

• Human identity is rooted in God’s creation, not merely in personal feelings or self-perception. Genesis 1:26–27 says that God created humanity in His image and “made them male and female.” This passage presents biological sex as part of God’s intentional design rather than something humans create for themselves. Genesis 2:18–24 further describes God’s creation of man and woman as complementary, purposeful, and foundational to human relationships.
• At the same time, all people should be treated with dignity, compassion, and kindness because every person bears God’s image. The command to love one’s neighbor is rooted in the recognition that every human being has value before God (Leviticus 19:18).
• The Old Testament also warns against bearing false witness and calls God’s people to live according to truth (Exodus 20:16; Proverbs 12:22). Truth matters because God Himself is truthful, and His people are called to reflect His character. This creates a tension Christians must navigate: how to speak truthfully about God’s design while also speaking with love, humility, and compassion toward people made in His image.
• God cares deeply about the heart behind our words and actions. Outward actions are not enough; God desires His people to act from humility, love, and faithfulness (1 Samuel 16:7). Therefore, conversations about pronouns should not be driven by anger, fear, or a desire to win arguments but by a desire to honor God and love others well.
  

from the new testament

• The New Testament continues the biblical teaching that God created humanity as male and female, and that identity is ultimately found in Christ. Jesus affirmed God’s creation design when He said, “from the beginning the Creator made them male and female” (Matthew 19:4–6). Jesus did not redefine human identity but pointed people back to God’s original purpose in creation.
• The New Testament also teaches that believers receive a new identity through Christ. Paul writes that those who belong to Jesus are “a new creation” (2 Corinthians 5:17) and that their lives are now defined by being united to Him rather than by worldly categories, achievements, or desires. Our true identity is not something they get to define but something they receive from God through Christ (Galatians 2:20; Colossians 3:1–4).
• Because Scripture presents biological sex as part of God’s design, using preferred pronouns contrary to God’s created order unintentionally affirms something we understand to be false. Still, we must seek to speak truthfully while still showing kindness, respect, and love (Ephesians 4:15). Jesus consistently showed compassion toward people who were hurting, confused, rejected, or struggling with sin while still calling people to repentance and truth (John 4:1–26; John 8:1–11).  
  
• Our speech should be gracious and seasoned with wisdom (Colossians 4:5–6), and James warns against using words to both bless God and curse people made in His likeness (James 3:9–10). A Christian’s response to questions about pronouns should reflect both conviction and compassion.
• Believers may differ in how they apply biblical principles in areas where Scripture does not give a direct command. Romans 14 teaches Christians to act according to conscience while pursuing unity, love, and the glory of God. This does not mean truth does not matter, but it does mean believers should be careful not to judge one another arrogantly in matters requiring wisdom and discernment.

implications for today

Because God created humans intentionally as male and female, using pronouns that affirm a person’s claimed gender identity (as opposed to their given biological sex) communicates agreement with a view of identity that conflicts with the Bible's understanding of creation and humanity. Using someone’s preferred pronouns is not merely a matter of politeness but involves affirming a belief about human identity that Christians do not believe is true.

Still, people should be treated with dignity, compassion, and kindness because every person bears God’s image. So, what does this look like, practically speaking? Because for many people, they will say that if you don't affirm their gender, then you are disrespecting them. To love someone, however, does not necessitate affirming them. Instead of using pronouns, we can choose to use a person’s name, restructure sentences to avoid pronouns, or speak respectfully without making statements that conflict with their convictions. For example, instead of saying, “He said he would bring his friend,” a Christian might say, “Jordan said Jordan would bring Jordan’s friend.” While this may feel awkward at times, it allows believers to treat someone with kindness without feeling pressured to affirm a view of identity they do not believe aligns with Scripture.

Christians should also remember that refusing to use preferred pronouns should never become an excuse for being cold, harsh, or dismissive. The goal is not to make someone intentionally feel rejected but to faithfully represent Christ by speaking truthfully, lovingly, and graciously. Love people more than winning arguments. Uphold convictions with compassion. Someone wanting to use personal pronouns different than the sex assigned to them at birth is a person made in God's image who needs the hope, love, and truth found in Jesus. How we communicate our convictions matters just as much as the convictions themselves.