How can I turn the other cheek?

from the old testament

• In the Mosaic Law, Israel’s legal code included the “eye for an eye” principle, intended to limit retaliation. For example, Exodus 21:24–25 reads, “if there is harm, then you shall pay life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.” The intention was for the punishment for harm done not to exceed the damage done.
• It was not meant, however, as a principle that all injustice must be met with equal force. Rather, God’s people were to trust that He would bring ultimate justice. Proverbs 20:22 reads, “Do not say, ‘I will repay evil’; wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you.” Similarly, Psalm 37:1–2 says, “Fret not yourself because of evildoers; be not envious of wrongdoers! For they will soon fade like the grass and wither like the green herb.” These both exemplify the fact that God, who is just, will deal with all injustice in His timing.
• Indeed, God said, “Vengeance is mine, and recompense, for the time when their foot shall slip; for the day of their calamity is at hand, and their doom comes swiftly” (Deuteronomy 32:35). We are to leave vengeance (the execution of justice) to God.
• Rather than seek justice ourselves, we are to “Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil. For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the LORD shall inherit the land.” (Psalm 37:8–9).
• A gentle answer turns away wrath (Proverbs 15:1). Sometimes responding kindly to a public insult will completely neutralize or disarm our “enemy.”

from the new testament

• Matthew opens the “Sermon on the Mount,” in which Jesus teaches several things to the disciples. In the portion where He was talking about turning the cheek, He was correcting various legalistic interpretations of the Mosaic Law where the first-century Jews were obeying the letter of the law but not its “spirit,” its intent (Matthew 5:21–48).
• Within that context, He taught, “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also” (Matthew 5:38–39).
• Jesus was not negating the Old Testament law that limited retaliation, but teaching that they did not need to retaliate against every injustice. In that context, slapping one’s cheek was a public insult. Despite the extreme embarrassment, Jesus said that the believer should not take it upon himself or herself to retaliate. Instead, they were to “turn the other cheek,” meaning they were to expose themselves to a second humiliating slap.
• The reason for doing this was two-fold. First, it was an attempt to maintain peace. Retaliation generally leads to further retaliation. Paul would later remark, “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all” (Romans 12:18). Jesus was saying to take a peaceful stance even when it led to additional insults.
• The second reason for turning the other cheek was to leave room for God’s vengeance (Romans 12:19). God holds everyone accountable for every thought, word, and deed, including insults (Matthew 12:36). As believers, we are to trust that God will bring every deed into light (1 Corinthians 4:5) and punish all sin (Romans 2:6).
• God tells us that He will judge every thoughtless word (Matthew 12:36) and that His vengeance is fierce (Hebrews 12:29), so we can trust that one day the insult will be set right far more fairly and firmly than we can ever do.
• Our kind and gentle lives will grab the attention of some who want to know why we would live so counter-culture. With them, we have the opportunity to share our hope and the saving gospel so that they might also have that hope (1 Peter 3:15).

implications for today

In Jesus’ day, a common public insult was that of a slap on the cheek. Today, public insults take other forms, such as hateful comments on a video or post we made. When this happens, our sinful instinct is to punch back, attacking the character or intelligence of the one who first tried to humiliate us. However, Jesus said to turn the other cheek. That means we may need to allow unfair and untrue insults to go unchallenged, even if that opens us up to more slander.

This does not mean that we can’t defend what is true. We must stand up for biblical truth and promote justice and fairness. However, we are not to do so by insulting someone back. The difference is whether we are responding to clear our name or to kindly proclaim the truth, regardless of whether our reputation takes a beating.

The same principle applies in normal life. For example, we can apply the principle of turning the other cheek when we’re cut off in traffic, misunderstood in a conversation, overlooked at work, or treated unfairly. In those moments, we’re constantly faced with the choice to either defend our pride or reflect Christ’s patience.

But we need to remember that turning the other cheek is not about pretending the hurt didn’t happen or ignoring its consequences—it’s about refusing to let that hurt control how we respond. Instead of rehearsing what we wish we had said, we can pause, pray, and choose a response that keeps peace in reach rather than escalating conflict. Sometimes that means saying nothing; other times it means speaking truth calmly without adding insult to injury.

Responding in this way reshapes us. We begin to care less about “winning” the moment and more about honoring Christ in it. And as we do, we leave space for God to defend us in His way and in His timing, while our lives quietly point to a different kind of strength.

In short, insults hurt, but they are short-lived. If we don’t retaliate, we leave room for both the gospel to be heard and for God to judge the situation in His timing and in His way!