What does the Bible say about disciplining children?

from the old testament

• Parents are called to teach and discuss God’s Word daily (Deuteronomy 6:6-7).
• Discipleship is generational and meant to pass on trust in God (Psalm 78:5-7).
• Proverbs 13:24 warns us of the results of not disciplining one’s children: “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” Loving discipline is necessary and should not be neglected. While many focus on the way discipline is given in this verse, the focus is that parents must give discipline.
• The Bible is clear that child discipline is the parent's responsibility. Proverbs 19:18 teaches, "Discipline your son, for there is hope."
• Proverbs 22:6 emphasizes intentional, values-based discipleship from an early age.
• Proverbs 29:17 tells us that faithful correction brings peace and joy in the long run. A well-trained child who knows how to live a life of integrity brings joy to parents. Although not a promise—even parents who intentionally and biblically discipline their children are not guaranteed to have children who live with integrity—it is more likely to happen for those who follow these wise principles.
• The Bible warns us of the foolishness of not responding to discipline; this also means that it is foolish not to provide it. Proverbs 12:1 says, "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid." Proverbs 13:1 adds, "A wise son hears his father's instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke."
• The Bible provides us with examples of those who did not discipline their children and the painful consequences that followed. Eli, the priest, failed to restrain his sons Hophni and Phinehas, who treated the offerings of the Lord with contempt and lived immorally (1 Samuel 2:12-17, 22-25). Because Eli did not confront or correct them, God judged his household (1 Samuel 3:13). Another example is King David, who failed to address the wrongdoing of his sons Amnon and Absalom. Amnon’s unchecked sin led to the rape of his sister Tamar, and because David never addressed it (2 Samuel 13:21), Absalom’s resentment boiled over into rebellion and civil war (2 Samuel 13–18). These stories remind us that withholding discipline can have devastating spiritual and relational effects—not just for the child but for the whole family and community.
• Scripture discusses ways to discipline a child. Proverbs 13:24 speaks of using a rod, an issue that has caused great concern to many people today. However, the principle has nothing to do with violence or child abuse. Instead, the use of a stick that was used for spanking offered an immediate, clear form of punishment that helped children know right from wrong. If applied appropriately, this offers clear boundaries for a child’s behavior.

from the new testament

• Appropriate discipline encourages children who later respect their parents. As Hebrews 12:9 shares, "Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live?" God’s discipline is a model for ours—loving, purposeful, and fruitful (Hebrews 12:10-11).
• Though discipline is not enjoyable at the time for the parent or the child (Hebrews 12:11), it teaches a child right from wrong.
• How we discipline matters, though. Provoking a child to anger is not effective (Ephesians 6:4). Discipline must be paired with godly instruction and gentleness.
• Colossians 3:21 tells us that discipline must not break a child’s spirit; it must build them up.
• Spiritual discipleship through Scripture equips children for life (2 Timothy 3:15-17).

implications for today

Believers are called to discipline and disciple their children, and the two go hand in hand. Discipline is not simply about correcting behavior; it’s about shaping a heart that learns to love what is good, hate what is evil, and walk in obedience to God. When we discipline with love, consistency, and biblical truth, we are actively discipling our children, pointing them to the character of God and helping them learn to live under His authority. True discipline involves boundaries, consequences, and correction, but it is also filled with grace and restoration.

Too often, discipline is misunderstood as harshness or punishment, but that’s not how God treats us. Hebrews 12 reminds us that God disciplines those He loves—not to shame us, but to grow us. Likewise, parents must discipline not out of anger or frustration, but out of love and purpose. This means calmly addressing disobedience, explaining why it matters, and helping children see the deeper issue behind the behavior. For example, disobedience becomes a moment to teach submission to God's authority. A sibling conflict becomes a lesson in forgiveness and humility. Each act of discipline, rightly handled, becomes a window into discipleship.

The Bible gives us clear warnings through the lives of Eli and David—two fathers who failed to discipline their sons and saw devastating consequences. These stories remind us that ignoring discipline doesn't preserve peace; it invites destruction. On the other hand, Proverbs teaches that wise, loving discipline leads to peace and joy in the home. It strengthens the parent-child relationship, builds trust, and ultimately points children toward Jesus. As we teach, correct, and lead our children in the ways of God, we fulfill our calling not just as parents but as disciplers—entrusted with shaping lives that reflect His truth and grace.