What does it mean to deny yourself (Matthew 16:24)?

from the old testament

• Denying yourself refers to putting aside your personal thoughts and feelings about how something should happen and submitting to what God wants to happen. It’s prioritizing God’s authority over your own authority about life. Solomon noted this when he said we are to “trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5–6). That means we need to realize that our understanding of a situation may be wrong. As servants of God, we are to instead trust Him even if it seems wrong to us.
• God explained why we are to live for Him and not for ourselves: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9). As the sovereign God, He is wisely working out everything in ways we are incapable of fathoming. As His servants, we are to humble ourselves such that we submit to what He is doing and to His commands, regardless of whether we understand it.
• Being such a humble servant does come with a cost. The world lives to follow its own desires and often persecutes those who submit to God. The Sons of Korah were well acquainted with this fact, crying out, “Yet for your sake we are killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered” (Psalm 44:22). God does not always lead us through the easy way. Following Him often comes at great personal cost.

from the new testament

• Jesus embodied the suffering that comes from following God. Though fully God, He humbled Himself by taking on a human nature (Philippians 2:6–7). Paul explained that “being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:8). Jesus denied Himself completely on earth. He never did His own will, only ever doing what pleased His Father (i.e., John 6:38).
• As the time of His death grew near, Jesus began teaching the disciples of what was coming. We learn that “Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised” (Matthew 16:21).
• Jesus was explaining what had to happen, yet Peter pulled Him aside to rebuke Him for talking like that (Matthew 16:22). Jesus turned to Peter and said, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man” (Matthew 16:23).
• What a strong rebuke! Jesus was calling Peter out for placing his personal view on how things should work out for Jesus above the Father’s plans. That led Jesus to use that as a teaching moment for all of the disciples, telling them, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” (Matthew 16:24).
• To deny ourselves means to lay aside our plans for life and to hand the reins over to God, submitting to His plans. Jesus explained that involved taking up our cross. In the first century, the cross was a device of torture and death, reserved for some of society’s most despicable. When being executed, one would “take up his cross” by having to carry it to the place where he would be killed. From beginning to end, it was a degrading and horrifically painful experience. Jesus was metaphorically saying that to be His disciple you would have to be willing to endure whatever is to come as a result, including great suffering and pain.

implications for today

Everyone, even believers, has a selfish side. We want what we want when we want it and how we want it. If it’s about politics, we want our guy or girl to win. If it’s about the promotion list, we want to be on that list. If it’s about obeying Scripture, we want to choose what parts we will obey. For us, it’s all about us!

However, believers are not to live like this. They are to realize that this is sin. We are to strive to place our Master’s will ahead of our own. Peter wanted the kingdom of God to come without Jesus’ death, not realizing that Jesus’ death was God’s means to bring salvation. His desires were not aligned with God’s desires. They were his selfish desires about how he thought the world should work. Likewise, even if we desire situations that please God, that doesn’t mean that’s the path God has chosen.

To deny ourselves is to deny our wants, desires, and expectations. It’s to stop saying, “I wish so and so wasn’t president,” or “I think I would have made a better manager,” or “I’d change this Scriptural command to be more what I consider loving.” Instead, it’s to trust God in everything. It's trusting that He is goo and in control and makes a far better God than we ever would. Let us deny ourselves by humbling ourselves and trusting that this very day is exactly as God intends it, as He works out His purposes!