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What does the Bible say about dealing with annoying people?

What does the Bible say about dealing with annoying people?
Restoration Kingdom Living Life

TL;DR:

Annoying people test our patience, but they also give us opportunities to reflect Christ’s love. Instead of responding with anger or irritation, choose kindness, self-control, and grace—remembering that you, too, are a work in progress.

what does the bible say?

The Bible encourages respectful treatment of others, which includes people who may be annoying. Certain biblical principles can guide interactions with annoying people: The first is that all people are made in God's image, which is the scriptural basis for treating others respectfully (Genesis 1:27). Additionally, the Bible teaches against reacting to others in anger (Proverbs 19:11, 12:16; Ephesians 4:26) and calls for believers to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).  Jesus' Sermon on the Mount exhorts believers to love their enemies (Matthew 5:44) and their neighbors, with neighbors meaning those beyond our family and friends (Matthew 22:39). Finally, Scripture teaches the principle of not repaying someone in kind, so our reaction to an exasperating person shouldn't be to be unkind to them.

from the old testament

  • The instinct when dealing with annoying people is to express our irritation, but Proverbs says, "Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense" (19:11; cf. Proverbs 12:16 and Ephesians 4:26).
  • All people have intrinsic value because we are made in God's image (Genesis 1:27). Even when others are annoying, they are image-bearers who deserve respect.

from the new testament

  • Jesus said, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" (Matthew 5:44). If Christians should treat enemies this way, they should certainly do the same for annoying people.
  • Jesus identified the second greatest commandment as "You shall love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 22:39). He implies that loving a "neighbor" involves selflessness and sacrifice (Luke 10:30-37). That same principle applies in our interactions with annoying people.
  • Believers are to manifest the fruit of the Spirit even to annoying people. Those fruits include "peace, patience, kindness, goodness. . . gentleness, [and] self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23).
  • Christians should not react to difficult people by being difficult: "Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing" (1 Peter 3:9).

implications for today

"A continual dripping on a rainy day" — that's how Proverbs 27:15 describes a "quarrelsome wife." But maybe someone in your life fits that description even better. It could be the coworker who has a knack for popping into your office with questions at the very moment you're working under a tight deadline. Maybe it's the neighbor who loves coming over to point out how your hydrangea bush needs trimming or your roses look wilted. Maybe it's a fellow believer who always dominates the discussion at the Bible study.

Or maybe it's you. As annoying as we find others, we should realize that we have annoying habits, too. All people do. We're all flawed. In fact, all of us have behaved in ways far more serious than "annoying," yet God shows us patience, mercy, and grace. May we follow that example.

understand

  • All people, even those who annoy us, should be respected as God's image-bearers.
  • Believers are to manifest the fruits of the spirit, one of which is patience, toward others.
  • Scripture denounces reacting to others in anger.

reflect

  • What biblical examples do you keep in mind when you are around annoying people?
  • How does your outlook on others change when you keep in mind that they are made in God's image?
  • When you've shown exasperation or become angry with an annoying person, what did you learn from that experience?

engage

  • How can Christians' behavior toward annoying people be a testimony to the power of the Holy Spirit?
  • Among believers, how can the behavior of annoying people be lovingly addressed?
  • How does humility figure into interactions with annoying people?

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