What does the Bible say about common law marriage?

from the old testament

• When God created Eve from Adam’s rib (Genesis 2:18–23), Moses commented, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Marriage is the process by which one man and one woman leave their parents and begin a new family unit. While God gave sex to be enjoyed within these relationships, it was also for procreation (Genesis 1:28). Marriage, then, is not just about sex or sharing bills, but about two people coming together to operate as one.
• God never defined what elements must be included in a marriage ceremony to make it a real marriage. He left it to up to each culture. However, Scripture implies that one cannot simply call any union a “marriage.” It was to be publicly witnessed (e.g., Ruth 4:9–11) and held the man and woman accountable for any sexual infidelity (Deuteronomy 22:22-23).
• In addition to society broadly witnessing a marriage, God also stands as a witness (e.g., Malachi 2:14). Making any covenant is a serious matter (Deuteronomy 23:21), and marriage is to be entered into with the same solemnity.
• The Old Testament Law also had warnings that sex outside of marriage required death, as noted before, or marriage. On this later point, we read, “If a man meets a virgin who is not betrothed, and seizes her and lies with her, and they are found, then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has violated her. He may not divorce her all his days” (Deuteronomy 22:28–29). Sex outside of marriage is always sin. Marriage is deeper than sex and this is why living together, even for a long time, is sinful.

from the new testament

• Speaking about marriage and divorce, Jesus said, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:4–6). Jesus grounded His view in marriage within creation, noting that a married couple is no longer two people, but “one flesh,” referring to their intimate union.
• Jesus also taught that because marriage is a union established by God, it is not to be ended lightly: "What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19:6; cf. Matthew 19:8–9). By contrast, a common-law marriage is, by definition, an arrangement that either person can leave at will, demonstrating that it lacks the covenantal permanence of biblical marriage. While the legal requirements for marriage and divorce vary across cultures, Scripture consistently presents marriage as a publicly recognized covenant, and its dissolution likewise requires a public and legitimate ending rather than a private decision to separate.
• Also note that the language of leaving one’s father and mother and holding fast to one’s wife is a statement of a publicly witnessed relationship. The man and woman leave their respective parents and publicly become a new family unit.
• Because God created sexual intimacy for marriage, the author of Hebrews said, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” (Hebrews 13:4). Sex is to be enjoyed only inside a marriage, and any violation of that union by having sex with someone else is adultery. Unfaithfulness within a common-law marriage, however, is not recognized as adultery since the individual was not actually married and thus not in a covenantal relationship.

implications for today

Marriage is not simply two people living together and sharing expenses. It’s a public commitment between one man and one woman entering into a union through a solemn covenant.

Some cities and states are “common-law” locations. That is a legal process whereby they consider those who have lived together for a certain period to be “married,” in the sense of granting them the legal rights and responsibilities of marriage.

However, calling something a marriage doesn’t make it so, in fact or in biblical terms. A common-law marriage is not a biblical, covenantal relationship and is one grounded on sinful cohabitation. Until a couple in that situation is truly married, they remain in sin.

If you are currently in such a situation, know that God is forgiving. He forgives even sexual sins and has given you a path to resolve your situation. It starts with repentance of your sin. If you are not yet a believer, His priority is not that you get married but that you and your spouse get saved.

Once you become a believer, He expects you to live in a way that honors Him. Practically, this means you have two options: get married or separate and end all extra-marital sexual relations.

Don’t think of marriage as a formalization for what you are already doing. Rather, understand it as living according to how God designed couples to live. Marriage was designed to demonstrate God’s faithfulness (Hosea 2:19–20) and Jesus’ care for the church (Ephesians 5:31–32). By getting married, you will be making a declaration to honor God and showing others how Jesus has changed you.

Sin is messy, and a cohabitation situation often includes children or other complications. Seek the guidance of your pastor, who can help guide you to glorify God through this process.