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Is chivalry dead?

Is chivalry dead?
Fall Apologetics Culture

TL;DR:

Chivalry isn’t dead—selflessness is just increasingly rare. The Bible calls us to something deeper than opening doors or paying for dinner: honoring people by putting their good ahead of our own.

what does the bible say?

The Bible never uses the word “chivalry,” but it calls people to treat one another with honor, dignity, and selflessness. Men and women are both created in God’s image, giving every person inherent value and worth (Genesis 1:27–28). The Bible gives us examples of what chivalry looks like. The Old Testament gives us examples like Boaz, who treated Ruth with kindness, generosity, protection, and respect rather than taking advantage of her vulnerability (Ruth 2–4). In the New Testament, Jesus modeled treating women with dignity and respect, speaking with them, teaching them, defending them, and welcoming them as followers (John 4:7–26; Luke 10:38–42). In Ephesians 5:25, husbands are commanded to love their wives sacrificially, following Christ’s example of giving Himself for the good of others, while at the same time all Christians are commanded to “outdo one another in showing honor” (Romans 12:10). Biblical honor, therefore, goes far beyond opening doors or paying for dinner—it means putting selfishness aside, respecting boundaries, keeping your word, and seeking another person’s good (Philippians 2:3–4). So while the cultural expressions of chivalry may change, the biblical call to treat people with honor is anything but dead.

from the old testament

  • The Bible doesn’t use the modern word “chivalry,” but it offers principles that still apply. Men should treat women with honor and dignity since both men and women are made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27–28).
  • Biblical men are portrayed as responsible for others, not merely themselves. Boaz strongly exemplifies treating Ruth with kindness, protection, generosity, and respect rather than exploiting her vulnerability (Ruth 2–4).
  • Proverbs praises honorable character. A godly man is characterized by integrity, wisdom, self-control, and concern for others rather than selfishness or domination (Proverbs 20:7; 31:8–9).

from the new testament

  • Jesus treated women with dignity and respect. He spoke publicly with women, taught them, defended them, and welcomed them as followers (John 4:7–26; Luke 10:38–42; 23:49).
  • Men are commanded to love sacrificially. Husbands are told to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). That goes far beyond opening a door or paying for dinner—it means putting another person’s good before selfish interests.
  • Christians are called to honor one another. Believers are told to “outdo one another in showing honor” (Romans 12:10) and to treat others with humility rather than selfish ambition (Philippians 2:3–4).
  • Men are specifically instructed to treat women with honor. Husbands are told to live with their wives “in an understanding way” and to show them honor (1 Peter 3:7).

implications for today

In a culture where dating can feel casual, transactional, and increasingly shaped by “what do I get out of this?” The Bible offers a different way to treat people. Chivalry doesn’t have to mean following an outdated list of rules about who opens the door or pays for dinner—though those are still nice gestures no matter what feminists say. Chivalry means choosing honor, thoughtfulness, courage, and selflessness when it's easier to look out for yourself. That might mean being intentional instead of on your phone, scrolling through Instagram; respecting boundaries instead of pushing them; keeping your word; or stepping up when someone needs help. But this isn’t just about how men treat women—every Christian is called to honor others, put selfishness aside, and treat people as valuable because they bear God’s image. In a culture that can normalize disposable relationships, biblical honor means refusing to treat people as disposable.

understand

  • Chivalry is rooted in biblical honor.
  • Chivalry is not dead; people are just selfish.
  • Jesus modeled respect and dignity toward women.

reflect

  • How do you respond to chivalry or the lack thereof in society?
  • How do you understand chivalry in light of God's commands for how to treat people?
  • How does choosing chivalry challenge our culture's notion of self-reliance and its emphasis on the self?

engage

  • Is chivalry actually dead, or has its meaning simply changed?
  • What should biblical chivalry look like today?
  • How can we practice chivalry without reducing it to stereotypes about men opening doors, paying for dates, or “rescuing” women?

More Resources

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