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What principles should guide a Christian woman seeking to be married?

What principles should guide a Christian woman seeking to be married?
Restoration Kingdom Living Marriage

TL;DR:

Don’t just prepare for the wedding—prepare for the marriage. A Christian woman should seek God first, choose a faithful believer who will lead and love his family well, and enter marriage ready for a lifelong covenant shaped by God’s design.

what does the bible say?

The Bible offers several principles a Christian woman should consider when thinking about marriage.  One such principle is that marriage is meant to be a lifelong commitment (Genesis 2:24; Mark 10:6-9) with another committed Christian (2 Corinthians 6:14). Scripture also teaches that the husband and wife have distinct roles in a marriage. A Christian woman must be ready to submit to the headship of the man she marries (Ephesians 5:22-24; Colossians 3:18). Because of this, she should choose a spouse whom she believes will take that role seriously  (1 Corinthians 11:3; 1 Timothy 5:8).

She should also try to follow the model of a good wife described in Proverbs 31. Though marriage is part of God's good design, it is not more important than devotion to Christ, which should be every Christian's primary concern (Philippians 3:8).

from the old testament

  • Proverbs 31 describes the qualities of an exemplary wife, which a Christian woman seeking marriage should consider: hard-working (Proverbs 31:13, 27), concern for her household (Proverbs 31:15), generous to the needy (Proverbs 31:20), wise and kind (Proverbs 31:26).
  • A Christian woman must understand marriage as a lifelong commitment, a covenant (Genesis 2:24; cf. Mark 10:6-9).

from the new testament

  • The Bible teaches against being "unequally yoked" with an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14), so a Christian woman must consider only another committed, Bible-believing Christian as a potential spouse.
  • God's role for a husband is to be the head of the household, the one primarily responsible for the well-being of his family (Ephesians 5:22-24; Colossians 3:18). A Christian woman must respect and be ready to submit to that godly headship in her marriage.
  • That awareness of a husband's role should lead a Christian woman to look for a man who is a hard worker, someone who would take his responsibility to care for his family seriously (1 Corinthians 11:3; 1 Timothy 5:8).
  • A Christian woman should glorify God in her choice of spouse (1 Corinthians 10:31). Paul "count[ed] everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ" (Philippians 3:8), and this is the attitude a Christian woman should have.

implications for today

The white gown, the tiered cake, the gilded invitations, the flowers, the caterers, the photographers... the “must-haves” for today’s weddings are lengthy. And there’s nothing wrong with celebrating your wedding day—it’s a beautiful milestone. But preparing for the wedding isn’t nearly as important as preparing for the marriage. For that, you don’t need a wedding planner; you need the Bible.

A wedding lasts a day. A marriage is meant to last a lifetime. So while it’s easy to spend months thinking about what you want your wedding to look like, Scripture challenges you to think about what you want your marriage to look like. How will you communicate? How will you handle conflict? How will you serve one another? How will you honor God when marriage is difficult, not just when it feels romantic?

God’s Word gives us the blueprint. Scripture teaches us what marriage is, what each spouse is responsible for, and how both husband and wife are ultimately called to glorify God. A man who consistently honors God while he is dating is giving you a glimpse of the kind of husband he is becoming. Look beyond charm, chemistry, career, or wedding-day potential and pay attention to his character. Does he pursue Christ? Does he take responsibility? Does he treat people with kindness and integrity? Does his life show that he is becoming the kind of man Scripture calls him to be?

Because ultimately, you’re not just choosing someone to stand beside you at an altar. You’re choosing someone with whom you will build a life. So don’t just prepare for the wedding you hope to have—prepare for the marriage God has called you to build.

understand

  • A Christian woman should seek God first, even above seeking a spouse.
  • Only another faithful believer should be considered as a potential husband.
  • A Christian woman should be ready to glorify God by submitting to His design for her roles and responsibilities in marriage.

reflect

  • How does the Proverbs 31 wife inspire you as you consider marriage?
  • How do you glorify God in your marriage (or, if unmarried, in your single life)?
  • How are you challenged or encouraged by the truth that we should pursue God, even above a marriage?

engage

  • How does the Christian view of marriage contrast with secular ideas about marriage?
  • How can we help prepare young women for marriage?
  • What pitfalls common to marriage in the modern day could be avoided if people followed biblical standards?

More Resources

Marriage What does the Bible say about being a godly wife?

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A godly wife fears the Lord first, loves her husband faithfully, and builds her home with wisdom and grace. Her life reflects Christ’s love and shines as a living testimony of the gospel.
Marriage What does the Bible teach about marriage?

What does the Bible teach about marriage?

God designed marriage as a sacred union between one man and one woman. Though culture changes, the Bible’s teaching on marriage remains timeless, rooted in God’s divine purpose and design.
Family What does the Bible teach being a godly woman?

What does the Bible teach being a godly woman?

A godly woman’s true beauty shines from a heart surrendered to God. Rooted in Scripture and empowered by the Holy Spirit, a godly woman reflects Christ’s love through her actions, relationships, and steadfast obedience.
Relationships Should Christians date or marry non-Christians?

Should Christians date or marry non-Christians?

An unequally yoked relationship with an unbeliever will ultimately draw a believer away from godliness. While dating or marrying an unbeliever might be tempting, we must remember that rejecting God as our primary source of wisdom in choosing a life partner will come at a painfully high cost.