What should be part of a Christian wedding?

from the old testament

• A Christian wedding should include a clear covenant commitment between a man and a woman. God designed marriage for a man and a woman to become “one flesh” (Genesis 2:18–24). The language of covenant is especially important: marriage is not merely a romantic relationship or legal arrangement, but a lifelong commitment made before God (Malachi 2:14). A Christian wedding should therefore make the couple’s commitment clear, public, and serious. Therefore, the ceremony should include vows in which the couple explicitly promises faithfulness and lifelong commitment—not merely promises to “stay together as long as we’re happy.” These vows can be traditional or not, but they should reflect the covenant God designed marriage to be.
• Genesis establishes marriage as God’s good design before sin entered the world (Genesis 2:18–25). A man and woman coming to be married are entering into something God created. Therefore, it would be good to include Scripture or a brief explanation of God's design for marriage rather than making the ceremony entirely about the bride and groom's personal story.
• The Bible calls God's people to build their lives around His Word (Deuteronomy 6:4–9; Psalm 119:105; see Colossians 3:16). A Christian wedding should point beyond the couple's feelings to God's truth. Have the pastor officiating the wedding include one or more passages that actually speak to marriage—such as Genesis 2:18–24, Matthew 19:4–6, 1 Corinthians 13:4–7, Ephesians 5:21–33, or Colossians 3:12–19—and have them share a devotion on the passage chosen.
• Biblical marriages weren't merely private relationships. Families and communities were involved in marriage arrangements and celebrations (Genesis 24; Ruth 4). Therefore, Christian weddings should include trusted family members and friends who participate appropriately, pray over the couple, or publicly affirm their support by attending the wedding.

from the new testament

• Christ should be at the center of a Christian wedding. Jesus affirmed marriage as God's design, quoting Genesis and emphasizing that husband and wife become one (Matthew 19:4–6). Christian marriage is ultimately about following Christ, not simply having a successful relationship. So, a Christian wedding should include a Scripture reading, prayer, possibly communion, and other elements that reflect a couple's faith, explicitly acknowledging Christ as Lord over the marriage.
• Marriage should be understood as a lifelong covenant. Jesus took the permanence of marriage seriously: “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6). The ceremony and vows, therefore, should communicate permanence and faithfulness through both good and difficult seasons.
• Prayer is woven throughout Christian gatherings and major moments of life (Acts 1:14; 2:42; 1 Timothy 2:1–2). A wedding is an especially fitting moment for the church and loved ones to pray for the couple. Have someone pray over the marriage, asking God for faithfulness, wisdom, love, perseverance, and a Christ-centered home.
• The Bible doesn't portray weddings as somber religious obligations. Weddings involved feasting and celebration. Jesus' first miracle took place at a wedding in Cana and was a week-long celebration (John 2:1–11). Marriage is a good gift from God worth celebrating. Food, music, laughter, dancing, speeches, traditions, and celebration can all fit beautifully within a Christian wedding.
• The church community should support the marriage beyond the wedding day. The New Testament repeatedly calls Christians to “bear one another's burdens” (Galatians 6:2), encourage one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11), and live in community (Hebrews 10:24–25). A wedding isn't the finish line; the couple needs a community that will help them live out their vows. Therefore, don't just ask someone to officiate the wedding or treat the wedding as a big party. Prepare for and invest in your marriage more. Invite mature Christians into your life who can pray for you, encourage you, and speak truth when marriage gets difficult.

implications for today

The Bible gives us the foundations of marriage, but it does not give us a detailed wedding ceremony that every couple must follow. Ancient Israelite and Jewish weddings developed around customs such as betrothal, family involvement, a bride-price or marriage gift, the groom coming to receive his bride, a wedding feast, and public celebration (Genesis 24:50–67; Exodus 22:16–17; Deuteronomy 22:13–21; Ruth 4:9–13). These traditions varied across time and circumstances, so we should distinguish between biblical principles about marriage and the particular cultural practices surrounding ancient Jewish weddings.

For example, Joseph and Mary were betrothed before they were married, and their betrothal was a serious legal commitment rather than simply a modern engagement (Matthew 1:18–25). Jesus' parable of the ten virgins also reflects the cultural picture of a bridegroom coming for his bride and the wedding celebration that follows (Matthew 25:1–13). The New Testament doesn't command Christians to reproduce these customs; instead, it carries forward the deeper truths they expressed—covenant commitment, faithfulness, family and community involvement, celebration, and the seriousness of marriage.

Just like in times past, Christian weddings today should seek to honor God. A wedding is a special opportunity to celebrate the love between a man and a woman as they enter into a lifelong covenant before God and their community. Whether your wedding is traditional, simple, elaborate, or unique, what matters most is that it reflects the biblical beauty, joy, and seriousness of marriage. Let the celebration point beyond the flowers, music, and decorations to the covenant being made and ultimately to the faithful, sacrificial love of Christ, which marriage is meant to reflect (Ephesians 5:21–33).